Dave E.

You have one shot at this and you’re making a pigs ear of it so far

They tried, but the results were tragic:
http://tinyurl.com/d24p8a

I just cannot bring myself to listen to it. Please tell me that someone somewhere did some rigorous in-depth testing that proved the words and/or tune will have a significant net positive impact on large numbers of potential supporters and wasn’t just a last-minute bright idea by some bubble-headed marketeer. (You could convince me – I have just about managed to persuade myself that that gormless slogan is actually a cunning weapon to blunt and blur the impacts of the Labour and Tory slogans!)

Just reassure me that the verses don’t begin with “Share and enjoy…”

What I find amazing is that clearly Campaign HQ sat down, listened to this song (perhaps during a campaign strategy meeting) and thought it would be a good idea to release it to the general public. From this, I can conclude that no-one in our campaign team has ever heard of this thing called ‘music’. We really ought to start asking this sort of thing at interview.

Hey, Jedward are out of work. How about we ask them to release our next anthem? “Go back to your constituencies and stop up your ears”.

I have just lowered my direct debit to the party by 79p.

It sounds like someone went round to Argos, bought a cheap Casio synthesizer, programmed it to play random notes, then dubbed in the chorus from a TV ad for detergent.

Chris Fox claims, “The more you listen to it the catchier it gets.” Does he mean “catchier” in the sense of bubonic plague?

First aqua, then the anodyne election slogan, and now this. I despair.

Hey, Stephen Gateley died, we can’t use “Things Can Only Get Better” because it was a lie last time and nobody would believe it even if we did roll out the keyboard player as potential Arts & Culture minister, we could only afford about 3.78 seconds of a Brian Eno piece, and we did not want to choose a song at random who only found out he wasn’t actually a working class hero when somebody told him his song had been used at a Tory conference.

Don’t know what was ever wrong with The Land Song though, and now that Michael Foot’s gone we could have had it back for good. I told them they would not get Charlie Kennedy to play the Bontempi organ in time if Lynn Featherstone was leading the sopranos.

But thank’s for loading it up [Guido] – I was b**gered if I was going to pay 79 pence for a Digitally Restricted version after that fight with Clement-Jones at the weekend.

Personally, now their keyboardist has joined us, I don’t see why we can’t just crack out “Things Can Only Get Better” (For You)

Whereupon you get invited to install iTunes. No thanks, I already have at least 3 music players on my PC, why do I want more, especially ones designed to install restrictions? If it’s not available to download as a simple file I’ll do without.