Winston Churchill: your Lib Dem Voice reader

Unsuspecting reader, you may be thinking that Winston Churchill was a fine Prime Minster, a great wartime leader, a patriotic Englishman and an inspiration to millions of Britons and generations of tabloid newspaper editors.

You would, of course, be quite wrong.

For if we apply the standards of tabloid newspaper editors to Winston Churchill, you find that the shocking truth is:

Churchill disgracefully insulted wartime heroes (by not dotting the letter i properly – just as The Sun criticised Gordon Brown for).

Churchill outrageously mocked our history (by removing any trace of Christianity or winter from the cover of his Christmas cards).

And, even worse, only a dodgy government statistician would count him as British because of course he was really a DASTARDLY FOREIGNER (for one of his parents was American – and that means you should be counted as a foreigner).

Hope that’s cleared up matters.

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5 Comments

  • Richard
    Posted 8th December 2009 at 11:48 am | Permalink

    Ah, but were his American ancestors WASPs?

  • Andrew Suffield
    Posted 8th December 2009 at 12:14 pm | Permalink

    He also spent much of his career opposing military spending, organised a disaster during WW1, and was personally responsible for a series of lesser screwups in various posts throughout his career. A bit hit and miss, really.

  • Seth
    Posted 8th December 2009 at 1:38 pm | Permalink

    1920s Prime Minister Andrew Bonar Law wasn’t even half-British – he was a Canadian narional. Oh the field day the Mail would have with that today…

    Richard, Churchill’s American ancestors were indeed very much WASPs – he even shared ancestors with the Bushes (no, really).

  • Hywel
    Posted 8th December 2009 at 11:49 pm | Permalink

    Philip Ziegler had a note on his desk when writing his biography of Mountbatten which said, “Remember. In spite of everything, he was a great man”.

    I think that description applies better to Churchill.

  • Randy
    Posted 10th December 2009 at 4:18 pm | Permalink

    What our country needs is an American like Churchill and not a lightweight, inexperienced aplogist like Barack Obama.
    Churchill was proud of his Anglo-American ancestry and therefore was able to inspire England and her Commonwealth, the USA and the rest of the free world in a way no other British leader has been able to before or since.
    “It is not given to us to peer into the mysteries of the future. Still, I avow my hope and faith, sure and inviolate, that in the days to come the British and American peoples will for their own safety and for the good of all walk together side by side in majesty, justice and in peace.” To U.S. Congess December 21, 1941

    The current administration seems bent on destroying the close bond Churchill helped forge between “The English Speaking Peoples.” One of Obama’s first acts was sending back the bust of Churchill that occupied space in the White House. As Churchill said: “The American people always do the right thing, after they’ve tried every other alternative.” I am waiting for President Obama to do the right thing, but Barack is too busy apologizing for our country.
    Sure, Churchill had his faults, many of which he freely acknowledged publicly in word and deed…a quality our current President not only lacks but lies to cover up his iniquities…or blames them on someone else.

    “What is the use of living, if it be not to strive for noble causes and to make this muddled world a better place for those who will live in it after we are gone? How else can we put ourselves in harmonious relation with the great verities and consolations of the infinite and the eternal? And I avow my faith that we are marching towards better days. Humanity will not be cast down. We are going on swinging bravely forward along the grand high road and already behind the distant mountains is the promise of the sun.”
    And you say that he was not a spiritual man? Hogwash.

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