Exciting new venue for Spring Conference

 

A party source has exclusively revealed to LDV that the Federal Conference Committee is seriously considering holding the 2020 Spring Conference in the Isles of Scilly.

As a first priority, after complaints about the lack of real ales in the Novotel at York, members of the Committee have rigorously checked the quality of the cask ale on offer in the conference hotel and can reassure party members on that score.

Travel to the venue will be memorable. Inspired by the razzle-dazzle ferries in Liverpool, the Conference Office is discussing with a ferry company the possibility of painting one for the occasion in a variety of Lib Dem shades of yellow and orange; there will also be an aqua-coloured rowing boat with sufficient capacity for that colour’s fans.

The Rally will be held on the ferry during the trip from Penzance using the onboard PA system.

Unfortunately, the exhibition will still have to take place in mainland Cornwall due to lack of space on the Isles of Scilly, but it is hoped that members will take advantage of a stop-over in Penzance to visit it.

Alternatively members can travel by small aircraft from Exeter, Newquay or Land’s End.  The Conference Office has negotiated a special rate for hiring a helicopter through Uber directly from London.

Due to the carbon impact of the extra travel required, Federal Conference Committee is also in negotiations to put in place a carbon offsetting scheme. The preliminary plan is to install a turbine alongside the conference centre, to be powered by hot air from inside. It may even be possible to sell the likely surplus back to the grid to raise funds for the party.

As another attraction, a local grower is developing a new variety of daffodil to be called Lib Dem Gold. Members will be able to buy trays of the new daffodils, still in bud, at wholesale prices which they can then take home and sell in aid of their local parties.

The conference will probably coincide with the annual low spring tides, which will allow Tim Farron to lead members in wading across from the island of Tresco to its neighbouring isle of Bryher. There is even speculation that the party may receive much-needed publicity if Tim is able to part the waters.

In view of the rather special circumstances, the party is considering some amendments to the Members’ Code of Conduct to cover swimwear.

Coincidentally, Federal Conference Committee has learned that the Conference coincides with the once in 60 year appearance of Asquith’s Comet. To celebrate this happy event, the Glee Club will be held in a field so that revellers can celebrate this significant celestial event. A sponsor will sought so that warm, weatherproof protective clothing can be supplied. It is hoped that sufficient fracked gas will be available to power John Hemmings’ keyboard. Paddy has been booked to tell The Joke.

Finally, the Scilly social action teams will be sent to one of the more remote islands to count and ring puffins. Good rowers preferred as they will have to contend with a notorious current known locally as the Rip of Olla.

 

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29 Comments

  • And a very happy first of the month to you too

  • Paul Murray 1st Apr '16 - 8:43am

    How about Skellig Michael instead? Holding conference on Irish sovereign territory would show the party’s commitment to European unity; the island has hosted conferences (of crows); and as the location for the dizzying final scene of “The Force Awakens” it will appeal immediately to all the party’s science fiction fans – which is basically all of them.

  • Well done, LDV, I can’t wait

  • Geoff Payne 1st Apr '16 - 8:48am

    I think there should be an enquiry into who leaked this. We won’t be able to block book hotel rooms or get a good deal to hire the conference centre now! Still, I am pleased to see at least that there is a commitment to a 2020 Spring Conference.

  • Andrew Wiseman 1st Apr '16 - 8:57am

    I am extremely unhappy that LDV has chosen to release this story. No formal decision has been taken by FCC at this stage. Various other options are being considered and the Isles of Scilly is only one of a number of different possibilities. I would like to make it clear to members who are concerned about their carbon emissions due to the need to fly that FCC would put on an action day prior to conference to assist in building a bridge link.

    Andrew Wiseman
    Chair, Federal Conference Committee

  • Barry Snelson 1st Apr '16 - 9:05am

    How about the island of Rockall?
    It’s only 90 foot wide but should be plenty big enough.

  • Liberal Neil 1st Apr '16 - 9:19am

    This is outrageous. I demand that the party engage the only polling company that didn’t get the GE wrong – Fairo Poll- to test member opinion. Did we do a proper comparison with Shetland and the Isle of Man?

  • ::Grin::

  • suzanne fletcher 1st Apr '16 - 9:53am

    thrilled. booked my train ticket to Penzance already, without any help from hubby and booked a 6 storey high room without complaining. Looking forward to going to the Fairtrade chocolate mine at the tip of the island and getting there before that notorious chocolate woolfer, Mark Pack.
    Of course St Simon may uncharacteristically be a little late for a fringe as he will be walking over the water, and it might not be that smooth if other Londoners been causing ripples (they’re like that down there).

  • Matt (Bristol) 1st Apr '16 - 10:00am

    Very good. But how will that square with the secret rumours of the party’s draft policy to solve issues over the future of the Falkands by offering the Scillies to Argentina in compensation?

  • In the interests of transparency I would like to add that the other venues shortlisted by FCC include the Isle of Man, which is likely to benefit from improved transport links from Scotland and Wales which should boost attendance from these state parties (see http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/scotland-and-wales-form-own-country-if-uk-votes-brexit-leave-eu-a6962431.html) and Grand Cayman, which combines significant tax advantages in the treatment of income from commercial exhibitors with guaranteed good weather. There are obvious hurdles in making the latter venue work carbon neutrally, but rest assured that the whole committee volunteered to take part in an extended site visit.

    Jon Ball
    Federal Conference Committee member, posting in a personal capacity

  • Geoff Payne – as if I would. How dare you!

  • James Moore 1st Apr '16 - 10:28am

    Terrible news. I blame Nick Clegg.

  • Lorraine Johnson 1st Apr '16 - 10:31am

    Is it too late to join the FCC for the inspection visit to Cayman? 😉 Might I suggest that we visit the Turtle farm as the Turtle Burgers are delicious

  • Peter Watson 1st Apr '16 - 10:32am

    Jon Ball “In the interests of transparency I would like to add that the other venues shortlisted by FCC include the Isle of Man”
    Sorry, but a Man on a Lib Dem shortlist is entirely unacceptable. 😉

  • My best wishes to those travelling via the Scillionian. I hope you have a strong stomach.

  • David Faggiani 1st Apr '16 - 12:16pm

    Very good.

  • Mark Smulian 1st Apr '16 - 12:36pm

    I vaguely recall being told in the 1980s that the Liberal assembly organiser Micky Gibberd had worked out that the rock bottom conference centre and hotel rates available meant it would be cheaper to hold the event in the Algarve than anywhere in the UK, even with the cost of flying people there. Sadly the powers that be were unimpressed.

  • amber hartman 1st Apr '16 - 1:56pm

    Isn’t Bambi taking over form John Hemming as keyboard player at Glee?

  • Diane Reddell 1st Apr '16 - 3:10pm

    I like it. The island of silly! Poor Nick Clegg gets blamed for everything too lol.

  • John Marriott – I don’t think anyone was taken in! And that includes the members of FCC.

  • Grahame Lamb 2nd Apr '16 - 9:01am

    I suspect that the Isles of Scilly National Party might have a view on this. Has no-one canvassed their opinion?

  • Tony Greaves 3rd Apr '16 - 2:11pm

    You may think this is a joke but the Liberal Party in the 1970s seriously considered having its Annual Assembly (1) on the Isle of Man, (2) on a cruise ship, (3) at Scheveningen.

    Tony Greaves

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