“I love how proud we are to be modest” and other things that Nick Clegg did not say

Craig Brown has written a parody of Nick Clegg’s speech to conference in the Daily Mail. Here is a short extract:

The same nation that came up with the Curly Wurly is now developing Oscar-winning visual effects; cutting-edge design; theatre, fashion, music, film, deputy leadership — you name it, we do it, and we’re up there with the best.

I love our weather forecast, and the way it tells you what the weather might be like tomorrow.

I love the sea, and the way it can be rough one day and calm the next.

I love the sun for the way it disappears in the night, letting us get a bit of much-needed sleep!

I love that our cities are home to so many people and buildings. If they had fewer people and buildings, they wouldn’t be so big.

Enjoy …

In case you missed it, the original speech is here.

* Mary Reid is a contributing editor on Lib Dem Voice. She was a councillor in Kingston upon Thames, where she is still very active with the local party, and is the Hon President of Kingston Lib Dems.

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  • Eddie Sammon 11th Mar '14 - 6:40pm

    Lol! Thanks Mary. I liked the ending the best:

    “The future not the past. Open not closed. In not out. Up not down. Forward not back. Hot not cold. Cash not carry. Fish not chips. Ipso not facto. Big not little. Little not Large. Ant not Dec. Starsky not Hutch. Soft not hard. Rock not roll. Hit not miss. Gin not tonic. Marks not Spencer. Oranges not lemons. Torvill not Dean. Search not rescue. Them not us. Put up not shut up. Over not out.”

  • The laugh is on the Daily Mail. Who will know what is parody and what is real in that joke sheet?

  • I thought the joke was the bit about being leader til 2020.

  • Simon Banks 14th Mar '14 - 9:08am

    The ending Eddie quotes sounds more like Tony Blair, with his trademark elimination of verbs cleverly confusing people about what he might be saying. Nick uses verbs: he just loses where they’re going sometimes.

  • Matthew Huntbach 14th Mar '14 - 2:36pm

    Brilliant job by Craig Brown. It’s too close for comfort, isn’t it?

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