There’s no prize at stake – just the opportunity to prove you’re wittier than any other LDV reader…
Here’s Prime Minister David Cameron and Scotland’s First Minister Alex Salmond meeting recently to discuss the fate of the Untied [sic] Kingdom. What do you think might be being said or thought by or about them?
And the winner of our last caption comp is…
Some fantastic entries for our most recent caption competition, Steve Webb & IDS “Supermarket (Chimney-) Sweep” Edition.
The winner, according to The Voice’s judging panel of one, was this one by Simon Titley:
Manager: “Does Mr Duncan Smith want to buy anything while he’s here?”
Steve Webb: “Probably. He’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic.”
Got a photo of a prominent Lib Dem you think would work well for a future caption competition? Then please email us at [email protected].
* Stephen was Editor (and Co-Editor) of Liberal Democrat Voice from 2007 to 2015, and writes at The Collected Stephen Tall.
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21 Comments
Salmond: we’ll take the Kingdom for a horse
Cameron: oh no, not the horse, gave that back to Ms Brooks
Cameron: Why did I say Jockistan? Damn it, I’m in Scotchland!
Salmond: I didn’t realise that post Prescott cuts meant you had to throw the egg at yourself, Dave.
(aside) Nicola, can you run down to Scotmid and get half a dozen?
Tannoy: “We have just been informed that the Rt Honorable Gordon Brown is about to join the Ministerial party.
DC: “Alex, you’ve been at the deep fried Mars Bars again, haven’t you?”
Do not worry Dave, the Lib Dems are going to lose lots more councillors in May than you are.
Cameron: “Alex – don’t you ever, ever challenge me to a fried Mars bar eating competition again”.
Reporter shouts out, ‘Hey guys, Englebert Humperdink chosen to sing for UK at Eurovison Song Contest.’
After 5 minutes of embarrassed waiting Dave suddenly remembered it was Nick’s weekend to have the ministerial car.
AS: That’s what we call a haggis David!
Cameron: “Who sent me here to meet this plonker?”
Salmond: “I told you he was a plonker.”
One-eyed man standing behind them: “It takes two to know two.”
Cameron despairs as he learns that Alex has put Rab C. Nesbitt in charge of setting the minimum price for alcohol in Scotland.
Cameron: I’ve got a stinker of a headache all from listening to that accent!
Salmond: Nicola, those lessons in how to speak like a London toff, can I get my money back?
Dave and Alex react to the announcement of the first and second placings in “Smug git of the year 2012”
Dave realises he never read the smallprint on the piece of paper Alex had given him to sign.
Salmond, “I’ve got a majority without a coalition, how good is that ehh – ya should have gone to AV!”
Pheeeew! OK – own up chaps, who “Trumped”?
(Inspired by Rebekah) In an unspoken agreement both men, for the sake of diplomacy, decided to blame the trouser trumpet and lingering bad smell on Nick Clegg.
DC. dash it all, I forgot to bring my riding breeches..
AS. – shame, and I was going to take him along Hadrian’s wall to show him my proposals for look-out towers.
MY horse, my horse, my UK kingdom for a horse.
or alternatively,
How do I Raisa laugh out of this humourless Scot?
Alex Salmond inwardly congratulates himself on sticking superglue to David Cameron’s hand without him noticing – until now.