There’s no prize at stake – just the opportunity to prove you’re wittier than any other LDV reader …
Here’s contender for the Lib Dem deputy leadership Simon Hughes hard at work, gardening for Springwatch in London. What do you reckon he might be thinking?
The winner of our most recent caption competition, the rather belated “Clegg & Cameron love-in” edition – according to The Voice’s judging panel of one – was this one by Alison, with a special commendation for this one by Phil Rodgers.
48 Comments
“A lot of bad news to bury today.”
one less Telegraph journalist!
For an inner city MP, Simon thought it strange that he had been given the job of minister for Agricultural and Rural Affairs in the coalition government, but he thought he had better show willing.
The mystery of what a deputy leader is meant to do was solved when Simon Hughes was spotted disposing of shredded documents.
MPs forced to economise on transport bills.
Coalition denies downgrading Crossrail
“I come not to praise Tim Farron but to bury him.”
does my tummy look big in this?
When life slings mud at you – make mulch!
How about – “I buried my honour in 1983 and sold my soul in 2010. The only thing left is gardening leave”
Simon Hughes commented, “I’m much better organised with this new filing system”
“It’s not easy cleaning up after Mark Oaten!”
shredded Daily Telegraphs are good for one thing……..compost! There is enough manure [my “polite” choice of word] in it to need no additives.
He’s treading wheelie carefully
It’s the MP for Barrow
After the final coalition details come through, Simon Hughes decides to temporarily bury the hatchet.
I’m regular Labour visitor to this site, and I really am interested in Lib-Lab dialogue. But please indulge this one outbreak of what I freely confess is petty tribalism….
‘After Lib-Con coalition is formed, Simon Hughes is delegated to bury Lib Dem principles.’
Delivery for Heathcote-Amory.
Now where is a good place to put my principles?
(I know that is rather cruel, sorry Simon)
Aha, I notice someone got there first. I withdraw my last comment.
Simon was very surprised to find a large pile of crap in London. However, he soon realised that it was being spread around by the Daily Telegraph.
“I’d better hurry. This is the last wasteful publicly-funded project before the cuts. Replanting the Palace of Westminster Garden, that is.”
Where exactly did Labour bury the bodies? They are in this Brown mess somewhere…
The chips were down and, while painting ‘Bi C.V.’ on the side of his wheelbarrow might have been too subtle for some, it was the only way Simon could bear to come out.
We’ve got the muck, but the Torygraph have the rake…
Please take it in good spirit, it’s not meant any other way.
“I wonder if I can claim for the wheelbarrow on expenses?”
Last year I got a gardener on expenses. I guess I’ll have to do learn to do my own now.
Candidate for the Deputy Leadership Simon Hughes reveals his plan to save Cowley Street by making up for the loss of Short money; all LibDem MPs and SpAds to take second jobs as day-labourers and taxi drivers. Taxi passenger commented “I had that Nick Clegg in the front of my cab the other day”.
Vote Hughes for Deputy Leader.
The Man who knows where the bodies are buried.
I buried my principles years ago offering voters a straight choice to bury Peter Tatchell now I am burying the principles of the Liberal Democrats
“The coalition’s over there then? A good place to dump this…”
New partner of Simon Hughes dons camouflage gear to divert awkward questions.
Lib – dems more likely to stay in the closet denied by MP for Narnia.
MP denies he has eaten Boa Constrictor!
“I don’t know what sort of manure this is, but it certainly seems to attract the trolls.”
No caption, just an observation that he’s clearly not dressed for gardening (after planting leeks at the weekend, I’m still picking dirt out my skin). Was this a publicity shot?
Why would you say that? Oh, that’s right, he’s gay!
Okay, I snortled… albeit in horror, as I stare askance at the way my tummy’s going.
Oompa Loompa’s demonstrate enviromental credentials.
Lib-dems unveil details of economic policy.
Lib-dem animal welfare spokesman defends Simon Hughes clothes. “As far as we can ascertain , Acrylics are not on the list of endangered animals. Anyway knowing Simon as I do it would be faked Acrylic or at the very least farmed”.
“Yes Squire David Sir at the double. Yes sir it is an honour to handle the shit , as long as your garden Sir smells of Roses”.
Manifesto idea of urban farms now seen to have drawbacks. Already one MP knocked out by Telegraph pole & crofter in near miss by removal van.
Hard hitting lib-dem policy to clean up the City finally revealed! “We know our place” says yokel.
“Someone’s got to follow up behind Nick Clegg”
No K ehaar. Satirical comment is always near the knuckle and works by you drawing inference. So don’t start and take offence at everything or become the definer of what can and cannot be said.
What about the children type of cry leads to a world where adults are only left to indulge in an infantile discourse. I am an adult and give other Adults the courtesy of being able to read between the lines.
It is nothing about being gay, but more about hypocrisy. The Narnia quote asks why there seems to be this history within the party which would claim JS Mill as it’s soul. Surely that is about personal liberation too. It is a question worth asking, what are the consequences of a minister being so uncomfortable in his own skin at the age of 43? You cannot dissolve your inner life from your outer life.
I am sure many an MP is a great Joke teller, but when has it been acceptable for them to tell an iffy joke as you would in the pub or any other adult forum. They are not allowed to, because we treat politics in an infantile fashion and that is why molehills become mountains, and that is why we get the politics and the politicians we deserve. It is not even their fault.
Or do we burn Aristotles treatise on Comedy as in the name of the Rose or should we just stick to shouting.
Mind you shouting is okay.
“Take away the right to say “fuck” and you take away the right to say “fuck the government!” (Jack Benny)
Sorry
Lenny Bruce
“What did Vince Cable do to get a Mondeo” MP asks?
“No Doctor I am the MP for Yeovil, its the world that has went mad , not me”
“Simon Hughes swaps “bury head in sand policy” for greener alternative”
Lib dem refuses to take advice. Burning leaves is bright and dazzling in the short term, but they have a habit of blowing about burning people and only leave whispy ashes in the long term.
“Right – finally found that smelly stuff Labour left behind…”
MP ditches garden to spend more time with politics….
Tightning of expenses rules lead to more MPs taking on second jobs….
Simon Hughes ditches taxi for more environmentally-friendly transport
Simon Hughes tasked with burying skeletons found in government closets.
Eyes, Laws – for he is on your mind – was not in the closet. He just didn’t talk about his sexuality. Men are not life-support machines for their penises, and I am not defined by my preference for women. Despite the undoubted sniggers from some quarters, the objectionable parts of Laws’ conduct was not that he had a boyfriend but that he was highly economical with the actualíty and that he used the public purse to maintain his personal privacy in the same way as, say, an MP from a devout Christian background might claim to be renting a room from a member of the opposite sex with whom they were in a relationship outwith wedlock).
Plus, that’s not manure. It’s woodchips.
Kehaar – we know it’s not manure, but it’s funnier to pretend it is.
Kehaar, if they would have taken a common mortgage, Laws could have claimed for his part of the instalments legally, so he actually didn’t cost the taxpayer more than if he had lived openly in gay relationship.
A barrowload of liberal principles for Mr Clegg
Hughes announces candidacy for deputy leadership by building world’s biggest spliff