Author Archives: Jenny Marr

This article first appeared on 15 June 2016, in the wake of the Orlando massacre. It’s worth reading again today after another week full of avoidable tragedy.

One of the first things I tell people about myself, really as a warning, is that I cry a lot. At good news, bad news, RSPA appeals. Even a particularly nostalgic Hovis advert will do it.

Since Orlando, I’ve cried on public transport. In the office. In a car park. At home. In response to eye witness accounts, doctor’s stories, and politician’s reactions. I suppose like many I’ve been grieving. But what with it this time is a physical reaction. A need to reach out my arms and hug the relatives, the police, the victims. To run and be there, as if that would somehow help. A need to shout out that I’m a human too, that I get it, that though I’m from the other side of the planet we feel it just the same.

Of course that’s probably no use at all, I don’t know. But on a practical level, what can we do? There are crowd funder pages to help the victims families, we could attend vigils, continue to live our lives.

Though for me, when I’m sitting on a train trying desperately not to hug the stranger sitting next to me, I need to do more.

My mind wandered to the mindset of the shooter, and all those committing these atrocities. And I thought, have they ever been in love? Sometimes when my mind wanders I think about what would happen if the person I love fell under a bus. Though not likely but they are incredibly clumsy. And that single thought will make me cry every time. I’m so lucky to feel this, but many people don’t know what that’s like.