In just 2 days’ time, Liberal Democrats will be gathering in Brighton for our annual Conference.  Sadly, for the first time since 2011, I won’t be there.  I was only going to be able to come for 24 hours, but, unfortunately, my husband is ill. He’ll be fine, but now is not the time to leave him.

I’m still scarred by my trip to the Witney by-election in 2016. He hadn’t been well just before but seemed to be on the mend. To cut a long story short, within hours of my return the next evening, he was spirited away to hospital in a blue light ambulance and he was there for 51 nights. The virus we thought he had was in fact an infection in his heart which ate one of his heart valves. Vegetation on a leaflet they called it.  An ironic affliction for a Lib Dem.

However, I have revamped my Guide to the Craziness of Conference for this year. Enjoy. And if you have any questions, ask away in the comments.

Federal Conference is probably the best fun that you will ever have in your life. You will thoroughly enjoy every exhausting moment. If you’re new, it can be a bit overwhelming until you get used to the sensory overload. I had a long break from going to them and when I returned, in 2011, I spent the first day wandering round in a state of wide-eyed amazement,  like a child in a toy shop.

So, with that in mind, I thought I’d throw together a fairly random list of tips and hints for getting the best out of the annual cornucopia of Liberal Democracy. If you have any other Conference survival tips, let me know.

If you have any questions, there are lots of places to get answers. There’s Federal Conference Committee helpdesk in the Brighton Centre. And if they can’t help, ask someone on one of the party organisation stalls in the exhibition – if they don’t know the answer, they’ll probably be able to point you in the right direction.

1. Plan your days

The Conference day has a huge variety of things to do. As well as the debates in the hall,  there’s a comprehensive training programme and a massive fringe.  There are spokespeople Q & As. There are competing fringe choices to be made.  You can guarantee that you will never be bored and that several things you want to see will be on at the same time.  Spend some time now poring over the Agenda (which gives details of the policy motions) and Directory (which has details of the exhibition, fringe and training) to work out what you don’t want to miss. Conference Extra, which has details of amendments will be published shortly.

Don’t forget to pick up the Conference Daily which has news and important information.

Be aware as well that you can eat quite well for free by choosing the right fringe meetings – look for the refreshments symbol in the directory.

Believe me, it’s much easier if you sort out your diary in advance. The best laid plans will always be subject to a better offer or meeting someone you haven’t seen for years randomly in a corridor, but it’s best to at least try to get some order into the proceedings. The Conference App is a real help for this. You can download it from whichever App store you use on your phone (search for Lib Dem Conf). Fully updated now for Brighton, it allows you to add events to your schedule and has all the papers loaded on to it.

2. Make time to do the Exhibition properly

Organisations pay the party a small fortune to have a stall in the exhibition. It’s therefore only polite for us all to take time to visit their stalls. But it’s not just about manners. They are actually really interesting. You have a mix of companies trying to sell you things, voluntary organisations wanting to tell you things and book stalls that are just far too tempting. It’s a good opportunity to sign up for some of the many officially recognised Party groups – the Lib Dem Disability Association, the Young Liberals, or ALDC, or the Lib Dem Campaign for Racial Equality  or LGBT+ Lib Dems or Lib Dem Women to name but a few. It’s your chance also to sign up for things like Liberator or the Journal of Liberal History.

If you’re going to do it properly, it’ll take you a while, probably a good couple of hours, but it’s really worth it. You learn loads, meet lovely people and pick up some good freebies. Get it right, and you won’t need to buy a pen again all year. I bought a Young Liberals trans rights t-shirt in York last year and am particularly grateful to them for stocking them in a wide range of sizes.

Also check out the Lib Dem Image stall for generic party branded merchandise and books. Will our 72 MPs each have a mug with their face on? I hope at least guide dog Jennie has one.

I find that I’m not used to carrying cash these days. While some stalls will have card readers, it’s worth making sure you have some cash with you.

3. To Glee or not to Glee?

You either love or hate The Glee Club, the raucous end of Conference singathon. I’m firmly in the love it camp. Singing the traditional, funny or downright rude songs that make up the Liberator Song Book is a great way to end Conference on a high. The day after the event one day during the Coalition years, there was a very funny interview with Alistair Carmichael on the World at One where Martha Kearney played a recording of us singing “The 12 days of Coalition.” He talked his way out of it admirably. I thoroughly recommend that you give this madness a go. It is unique and nobody laughs at ourselves like we do. You will need to buy your songbook from the Liberator stall. They do sometimes have some on the door of the event, but it’s not guaranteed.

And it is tradition that new MPs do a turn. The Glee Club Compères wrote about this the other day.

4. Don’t assume you’ll bump into your friends by accident

There have been conferences where some of my best friends were there and I never saw them. Conference is a big place. If you want to make sure you catch up with people, organise in advance.

If you’re there on your own for the first time, we are a pretty friendly bunch, so don’t be shy. Speak to the person next to you in the coffee queue whether it’s a parliamentarian or another activist. I have met some long-standing friends that way.

5. LDV at Conference

We don’t have a fringe this time but Charley Hasted, Mark Valladares and Mary Reid will be around. Come and say hello!  And do email us with any Conference stories on [email protected].

6. Fancy speaking?

The Agenda has details of everything that’s going on and the text of the motions.  Conference Extra  (which will be published later this week) has last minute changes, amendments and questions to Committees. You need to submit a speaker’s card which you can do here. Be sure to include a summary of what you are going to say, all your contact details and any reasons why you should be called. The latter can make the difference to a session chair if they are going through loads of cards and see one where the person has loads of relevant expertise.

If you are wanting to speak, I’d suggest preparing in advance if possible, before you get there. You think you can write your speech on the fly, but finding time in a busy conference is challenging. I’ve only ever completely winged it once, when I was enraged by something someone had said in an under-subscribed debate and hastily completed and handed in a speakers’ card.

There are some debates, like the pre-manifesto one, which are likely to be very popular. Lots of cards will be submitted and there won’t be enough space for everyone as selected candidates want to be seen to be speaking on something of interest to their local papers. So you might want to choose one of the quieter debates to have more chance of getting called.

7. Try and get out and see some of Brighton

One of my happiest Brighton moments came in 2018 when I did the city bus tour with my friend. It was lovely to see some of the city.

I’m gutted that I’ve never yet managed to visit the eccentric looking Pavilion and I’ve not spent enough hours ambling through the great variety of shops in the Lanes. There’s the pier too, but I’m not a fan of the Beach – it’s way too stony and slippy. I’d be forever re-enacting Neil Kinnock’s famous 1983 fall on his backside if I went near the place.

Do nip across the road from the Centre and head down the path to some of the bars and restaurants in the arches though. Shelter Hall looks great and who doesn’t love a secret cocktail bar?

8. Join online?

If you can’t get to Brighton, you can still watch the proceedings online here. Party members can pay £20 for an online pass so that they can vote on motions.

9. Say thank you to FCC

The Federal Conference Committee is responsible for setting the agenda at Conference. They spend so much time giving drafting advice for motions and amendments and then spend hours, as they did yesterday, deciding which to put up for debate.

It’s not an easy job, and they are accountable to the membership for it.

During Conference they manage the debates and deal with changes to the agenda and sort out things like the emergency motion ballots.

They take a lot of flack from people who don’t like that their motion or amendment wasn’t picked, or who didn’t get to speak in a debate. Sometimes I’ll agree with their decisions, sometimes I won’t, but I recognise the many hours of preparation and hard work that they put in.

So, be nice to them. Particularly to the FCC Chair Nick Da Costa. I think that he probably takes as much flack as the Party President does and has to deal with all the tricky situations that an event with several thousand argumentative Liberal Democrats at it can throw up.

The word FCC members hear least often is “thank you.” Let’s make this the Conference we change that.

Have a fantastic conference and enjoy your stay in Brighton.

* Caron Lindsay is Editor of Liberal Democrat Voice and blogs at Caron's Musings