As I never tire of telling people, I’ve been in the Party all of my adult life, having joined, as a teenager, the Scottish Liberal Party (Livingston Constituency Liberal Association, to be exact, for that is how we did things back then) in the febrile months between the 1987 General Election and eventual merger and the creation of the Liberal Democrats.

I have stood under the Party banner in student elections (I once stood for Glasgow University SRC President against a certain Nicola Sturgeon – whatever happened to her? – we both lost!). However, I have never been a candidate in a proper election – not even in a euphemistically described “development” seat. So I don’t really know what it’s like to offer yourself for selection.

In Scotland (as in Wales) we are working hard to select first rate candidates for a General Election due next year. That’s got me thinking about what it means to seek to be a candidate – but, don’t worry, this is not a reflection on the rights and wrongs of motion F10 at the recent Federal Spring Conference in Harrogate or the diplomatic (or otherwise) skills of Tim Farron.

The journey towards having your name beside Libby the Bird on that ballot paper in your ward or constituency is harder than many realise. The process for joining the approved list of parliamentary candidates cannot be taken for granted and involves manny steps including references, a background social media check, a policy test and an assessment day.

After that, the task of getting selected to the seat of your dreams (even if that seat is not necessarily our best hope in the coming election) can itself be challenging. It costs time and money to campaign in even an internal party selection and this will be borne by the candidate themself and their family. Local members are contacted. Doors are knocked. Calls are made. Literature produced. Hustings prepared for.

As a member, I always consider it my duty to have a 1-2-1 chat with each candidate. Our voters have to trust the members to offer them the best choice to vote Lib Dem in their constituency/region/ward. While not all members will seek to quiz the candidates individually, it doesn’t take many wanting to do that for the workload on the still unselected candidate to increase significantly.

And here’s the thing… you can be an excellent candidate… you can work hard in the selection with you and your family sacrificing time, energy and money to get the message out to the members… you can deliver a first rate performance at the hustings… and still not get selected.

And that can be utterly devastating.

You, see, ideally, our members will have multiple truly excellent candidates to choose from in a selection. That means, even when a great candidate is selected, necessarily we will fail to select other first rate people.

That’s not a flaw in the system… it’s an inherent FEATURE of the system. Politics, particularly electoral politics, is about choosing and choosing one option generally means declining another.

And politics can sometimes not feel “fair”. When votes are counted, the result is the result – purely based on blunt arithmetic. Again, a feature not a flaw.

So, if you are a candidate who fails to get selected, allow yourself to feel any hurt and disappointment that may manifest. Seek out pastoral support from someone you trust… do whatever processing you need to do.

But remember, however personal though it may feel (after all, it was your name on the ballot paper and your face on the leaflet), politics ultimately is not about you and success or failure in a contest does not define you or your value.

If you are not a candidate, make sure (whatever choices you have made in voting in the selection), you reach out to those you served the Party by offering themselves for selection, to make sure they are ok and that they know they remain valued and appreciated.

Electoral politics is undeniably about blunt numbers but it is also about real people with real feelings. Let’s make sure we look after ourselves and others in the never ending cycle of selection contests.

* Stephen Harte is a lawyer and a member in Edinburgh West.