Tag Archives: robert burns

Burns night: Celebrating Lib Dem Women

Earlier this week, we published Jenni Lang’s Reply to the Toast to the lassies given at the Edinburgh South Burns Supper.  We said we’d put up Andy Wiliamson’s original toast to which she was replying when we got it. So here it is. Enjoy.

“Thank you everyone for such a wonderful evening. Thank you to Rebecca for organising and for the team working for providing such wonderful service. 

So it has fallen to me to give the Toast to the Lassies this evening. 

I have to start with a confession. I am actually from England. 

That’s not the confession. The confession is that this is my first ever Burns’ night dinner. 

And I confess that I am not an expert in Burns’ poetry. When I first moved to Scotland, I thought ‘mice and men’ were the two main ingredients in haggis. 

I cannot, either, confess to being an expert on women. 

When Rebecca asked me to give this toast, she said they were looking for someone who knew as much about Burns as they did about women, so in that respect, she picked absolutely the right person. 

I would like it also stated on the record, that getting asked to give this toast is something of a poisoned chalice. 

For anyone desiring a political career, it’s quite a tightrope to be asked to walk. To stand in a room full of political women and make jokes about gender differences, armed only with a book of quotes from an eighteenth century farmer. 

So the bar to success in this speech is to make jokes, talk about poetry, and avoid being cancelled. 

Still, in reading Burns, it’s very clear that many of his ideas about women are universal, as are his ideas on politics. Reading some of his poems, it was striking how the world he was describing is not much different from the world of 2025. In the Rights of Women, for example, he says: 

“While Europe’s eye is fix’d on mighty things,

The fate of empires and the fall of kings;

While quacks of State must each produce his plan,

And even children lisp the Rights of Man;

Amid this mighty fuss just let me mention,

The Rights of Woman merit some attention.” 

Burns understood – like the proto-Lib Dem that he was – that everything has to be in balance. However, he got a key detail wrong. The opposite of the Rights of Women isn’t the Rights of Man. 

I’m speaking from personal experience here as a married man with two small children. I can personally attest that on occasions I have tested the boundaries of what my wife will put up with. 

Whether it’s telling her that – after a long General election campaign, a Council by-election requires me almost immediately to be away from home in the evenings again. Or times when I’ve stayed in the pub a little later than I probably should have.   

In those instances, it’s very clear that the opposite of Women’s Rights is Men’s Wrongs. 

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Alistair Carmichael: An Immortal Memory for Lockdown

Today is the birthday of Scotland’s National bard, Robert Burns. The traditional suppers to honour his memory have had to go online for obvious reasons. The Edinburgh South Lib Dems’ Burns Supper has been an essential part of my social calendar for years where I’ve been on the Naughty Table. It was a little different this year, eating my haggis in a Zoom breakout room with my fellow naughty friends.

Alistair Carmichael gave the Immortal Memory and had a pitch perfect look at how Burns might have coped with lockdown. He has kindly given us permission to reproduce it:

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for your invitation to be here with you for this slightly unusual Burns Supper in these exceptionally unusual times.

I hope that you enjoyed your haggis neeps and tatties as much as I enjoyed my artisan-crafted sourdough Haggis Pizza here in Orkney. I figure that if you are going to do things differently then you might as well go the whole hog.

Normally when called upon to propose an immortal memory at a Burns Supper I pose the question, what is it that is so special about Robert Burns and his works that people feel compelled some two and a quarter centuries after his death to gather together to honour his memory.

I suppose that the question remains a good one, given the extraordinary lengths that we are going to this evening to do exactly that but tonight I want to take a slightly different approach. I do so for a variety of reasons but principally because I have been doing that immortal memory for over twenty years now and I suspect most of you will have heard it once at least.

So,this evening instead I want to take a few minutes to consider what Burns might have made of life under lockdown.

I suppose fundamentally Burns was a practical man – a farmer from a farming family – so would have been used to getting on with things and making the best of them.

It should also be remembered that he also spent time working as an excise man so despite his romantic nature – as seen through both his life and his works – he had a side to his character that would have wanted to respect the rules.

I cannot imagine that Burns would have had much sympathy with the anti-mask brigade. Yes, he was a man who would rail against authority and was believed to have some sympathy with the revolutionaries in France but, even so, I suspect that he would have somehow managed to live with a measure that was for he common good.

Burns, I think, like the rest of us would have embraced Zoom in the early days but I fear he would also have tired of it pretty quickly.

Consider his works and you see two themes emerge – Burns as a man who loved nature and a man who was, above all else, a social animal.

As a farmer he would, of course, have been allowed to carry on his work outdoors so for his great works describing nature – his poems To a Mouse or To a Mountain Daisy the inspiration would still have been available.

In both cases Burns draws lessons for mankind from our relationship with nature. As he puts it in To a Mouse – and, for the benefit of our younger colleagues, let me make clear that when he wrote To a Mouse, Burns was not address a piece of computer hardware.

I’m truly sorry Man’s dominion
Has broken Nature’s social union,
An’ justifies that ill opinion
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth-born companion
An’ fellow-mortal!”

Both poems take a melancholy turn in their final stanzas

To the Mountain Daisy

Ev’n thou who mourn’st the Daisy’s fate,
That fate is thine—no distant date;
Stern Ruin’s ploughshare drives elate,
Full on thy bloom,
Till crush’d beneath the furrow’s weight

Shall be thy doom.

And in

To a Mouse

Still thou are blest, compared wi’ me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But Och! I backward cast my e’e,
On prospects drear!
An’ forward, tho’ I cannot see,
I guess an’ fear!

I doubt that with uplifting lines like that he would have got the gig to do COVID briefings alongside either Boris or Nicola.

Although he was writing two centuries before Brexit I defy anyone to find a better summary of how that is turning out than the lines in To a Mouse when he wrote

But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best-laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men
Gang aft agley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy!

An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy!

If you want to know how that feels then ask anyone who has tried exporting fish since the turn of the year.

But where I think Burns may have struggled more than most would be the loss of social interaction. His love of life – his enthusiasm for a good party and for dalliance with the fairer sex inspired and characterises some of his finest works.

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