One of the highlights of the Edinburgh Lib Dems social calendar is the South Edinburgh Burns Supper which I’ve been going to for probably 15 years now.

I have seen Alex Cole-Hamilton dressed as a mouse being chased by one time LDV contributor John Knox reciting the programme To a Mouse. I kid you not.

It’s always guaranteed to be a good night. If you are ever in Edinburgh, the food at Mortonhall Golf Club is brilliant and the bar prices are incredibly reasonable for a city venue.

I thought you might be interested in reading the Toast to the Lassies by Scottish Campaigns and Candidates Convener Charles Dundas and the reply, which I’ll post tomorrow, by Scottish Convener Jenni Lang.  There’s a lot of relevant political observation amidst the gentle roasting.

One person very much on all of our minds was Jim Wallace. I was relieved to be able to spend time with the Lib Dem family as we come to terms with his sudden loss. Everyone had so much love and admiration for him and there were few dry eyes in the house when Jenni Lang talked about him in her reply.

Anyway, enjoy Charles’ toast. His fears of imminent cancellation are premature, I feel.

Fellow Lib Dems. Guests. Lads…. And of course lassies.

I know. I can hear you. You’re whispering amongst yourselves “not him again”

Well done you’re right – this isn’t the first time that I’ve risen to give this address – in fact my records show that I gave the SELD Toast to the Lassies exactly 10 years and 1 week ago on Saturday 22nd January 2016.

Could I just see a show of hands please. Who thinks that they were here on that night? (Editor’s note: I was)

Ok, that’s more than half of you – a tribute to your loyalty to the Liberal cause – but for me it sadly means that I can’t just recycle the same speech again.

We’ll never get to Net Zero unless we reuse and recycle some more!

Unless of course you don’t remember what I said in 2016?

But no, what am I saying my carefully crafted oratory will be seared onto your hearts.

Some of you will have cross-stitched favourite passages of it into framed embroideries.

Your grandchildren now learn it by rote and recite it at their school assemblies.

It has been carved in letters 6-foot high into the face of Salisbury Crags so that the wisdom my words contained is lost not to the ages.

Let me just remind you what it said.

My theme back then was that giving this toast is an impossible task. A poisoned chalice. Required to celebrate womanhood and femininity, but to a progressive and radical political audience whose antennae would be carefully attuned to even the faintest whiff of presumed sexism.

Boy! Did I not realise how easy I had it back in those days.

10 years and one culture war later. Here. Today.
In 2026 you are asking me a straight, white, cis-gendered, middle-aged, middle-class, neurotypical male to make some lightly playful jokes about gender politics?

Why don’t you just cancel me now and we can get on with raffle quicker.

—–

But. Let’s not forget that I am a straight, white, cis-gendered, middle-aged, middle-class, neurotypical male, and therefore I have the unbounded self-confidence of a straight, white, cis-gendered, middle-aged, middle-class, neurotypical male – so I’m up for giving it a go.

Maybe the safest way to do so would be to channel Burns himself? To embody his spirit.

I’m sure when Faith was putting together the speakers list for tonight she thought to herself who is the Burnsiest of all the Scottish Lib Dem men?

We need a silver-tongued dandy with Byronic good looks. Someone who speaks for his nation and is loved by all – but Alex Cole-Hamilton wasn’t free tonight, and neither were any of the other 36 next most Burnisan members of the Party than me.

—–

So if Burns was giving the Toast to the Lassies what would be say?

Well, Burns had a lot to say about women. I think that it’s safe to say that he was a fan.

He praised any number of specific women in his poetry. Every one of them the most perfect example of her sex, and every single one of them the recipient of his eternal, undying and faithful love.

In 1786 he said of “Highland” Mary Campbell

“I hae sworn by the Heavens to my Mary, I hae sworn by the Heavens to be true;
And sae may the Heavens forget me, When I forget you!”

However he did forget, because that same year he said of the long suffering wife – and mother of at least some of his children – Jean Armour

“Of a’ the airts the wind can blaw, I dearly like the west;
For there the bonie Lassie lives, The Lassie I lo’e best”

But not long later her said of “bonnie” Lesley Baillie

“To see her is to love her, And love but her forever;
For Nature made her what she is, And never made anither!”

It’s really lucky that these women didn’t have a shared WhatsApp group to discover just how many of them had been made exactly the same world-shattering promises by this rustic lothario as each other.

I’ll be honest. I was starting to think when I started researching this that I shouldn’t take the advice of Alloway’s undisputed champion womaniser until I found his poem It Is Na, Jean, Thy Bonie Face which shows his attitude in a little more depth

“It is na, Jean, thy bonie face, Nor shape that I admire;
Altho’ thy beauty and thy grace Might weel awauk desire.

Something, in ilka part o’ thee, To praise, to love, I find,
But dearer far that something is The something in thy mind.”

So you see. Deep down it wasn’t their milk white bosoms, or warm soft thighs that Burns craved, but their minds, their intellects, their sense of humour and their capabilities.

I want to praise the capabilities of women tonight. Especially the women of the Scottish Liberal Democrats, because quite frankly it is they who make the party work.

Some of you might think that it’s Ed Davey who runs the party in Westminster, but ask anyone in the know and they will tell you that it’s our own Wendy Chamberlain and Christine Jardine who calls the shots.

Whilst in Scotland it’s true that Alex Cole Hamilton is bouncing all over the country knocking on doors and fundraising with his unique brand of tiggerish energy, but without Jenni Lang as Convener of the Scottish Party absolutely none of the background organisation would be in place.

Last year I had the honour of “acting up” as Convener of the Scottish Party while Jenni stepped in as an interim Chief Executive. The changes and recruitment which she managed in that role have built the foundation of all of our future successes and will stand as an enduring legacy to the benefit of all for generations.

A very big round of applause for Jenni please.

Hah! Let’s see you roast me now in your Reply after that.

So let us instead toast the lassies not for the dainty femininity of the 18th century, but for their strength and capability of the 21st.

Strength embodied in this room.

The strength to keep going when politics feels exhausting.

The strength to keep believing in change when cynicism is easier (and more popular)

The strength to campaign in the cold, the dark and the rain

And yes, the strength to challenge the men who say things like:

“I’m not sexist, but…” or “Can I just play devil’s advocate?”

The lassies of Edinburgh’s Liberal Democrats are activists, campaigners, councillors, professionals, carers, parents, students, organisers – often several of these at once.

The lassies like Sanne Djikstra Downie who will be an MSP in less than 100 days, and Jane Alliston Pickard who may very well be joining her.

Burns celebrated women who challenged him, teased him, outwitted him.

And that spirit lives on.

Because the lassies here tonight do not simply support liberal values – they embody them.

You believe in fairness, in opportunity, in compassion.

You believe in inclusion, and in that radical idea that listening is not a sign of weakness.

So tonight, let us toast the lassies — not as muses or mysteries, but as leaders, partners, friends, and equals.

To the women who challenge us.

To the women who improve us.

To the women who make Edinburgh’s Liberal Democrats what it is – principled, compassionate, and ready to win.
.
Please raise your glasses and join me in Toasting… To the Lassies.

* Caron Lindsay is Editor of Liberal Democrat Voice and blogs at Caron's Musings. You can find her on Bluesky at caronmlindsay.bsky.social