Introducing Lib Dem Mum

Dear Lib Dem Mum,

I am finding the leadership election very stressful. I am an Ed supporter, but my son is completely for Layla and my partner dislikes both and is disillusioned by the whole proceeding. My local party and my friends groups are similarly split, and there is so much partiality and fractiousness and bitchiness it hurts my heart. I cannot see the saviour of liberalism that my son sees in Layla, and I can’t fathom why he doesn’t understand that Ed represents the continuity and safety that we need.

It seems to be going on forever, and each day brings more arguments and things for people to be partisan about. I see people who have been friends for years falling out over this, and I worry that it will cause irreparable damage to both personal relationships and the fabric of the party. What can I do to stop this happening?


Anxious, Hampshire


Dear Anxious,

I think a lot of people will be in the same boat as you right now. Leadership elections always expose differences in perspective, and this one is no different. It’s a turning point for the party, as every leadership election tends to be, and we all have our own ideas as to what the best future direction is and what our party’s priorities ought to be.

My advice to you would be to always bear in mind that while this election has highlighted the differences between you and the friends, family members and party colleagues that you care about, those people are still fundamentally those same people you care about. People who share your life and hopes and goals. People who you have more in common with than differences with. You might differ on the best way to get to the future, but you all agree on a future that is worth working towards, and you all have good intentions as to how to get there.

Remember that we are all part of the beautiful, diverse, rich Lib Dem family. Remember that will not change no matter how long the leadership election goes on or whoever wins. Remember that we are all still the people we were before this leadership election started, and we will all still campaign together and do our best to make the party and the country a better place once it is done.

Have hope, it’ll be over soon. 

Love always,

Lib Dem Mum


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* Do you have a problem for Lib Dem Mum? Email [email protected] or DM @lib_mum on twitter in complete confidentiality - only Lib Dem Mum sees messages to these accounts. No one in the team at LDV has access (and for the avoidance of doubt Lib Dem Mum’s views are her own and not those of the LDV team).

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  • Anxious. It is the talk of continuity that has many people alarmed. Do we continue to poll at 6% and accept it? Do we continue to be ignored by the media? Whoever does not win will still have massive influence on the partys future direction.The membership will come together afterwards. Energy and direction are now the essential ingredients.

  • Catherine Jane Crosland 5th Aug '20 - 5:49am

    What a nice idea. The party certainly needs a wise, caring “agony aunt” right now

  • Lib Dem Mum 5th Aug '20 - 8:17am

    Tim, dear, I do think that you are displaying a little bit of the partiality that is making Anxious so anxious. Just a little.

    Catherine, thank you dear, I shall do my best 💞

  • shelagh rogers 5th Aug '20 - 8:31am

    Better than the Invisible man leadership

  • Peter Watson 5th Aug '20 - 8:57am

    “Lib Dem Mum”? “Agony aunt”?
    Sounds like institutional sexism to me, but perhaps I’ve just read too many outraged posts on LDV recently! 😉

  • Lib Dem Mum 5th Aug '20 - 1:45pm

    Shelagh: I would always advocate kindness, even to the leadership. And possibly a nice cup of tea.

    Peter: I might gently contend, dear, that it’s just as sexist to deny women traditional roles as to force us into them. The key here, as liberals, is to look to freedom and making sure nobody is enslaved by conformity, and that everyone has the best chances to make the choices they want to make.

    Ian: I won’t be drawn into speculation about my physical attributes, except to say that you might be right about the glasses, dear.

    Thank you all for engaging with my little column 💞

  • Robert (Bristol) 5th Aug '20 - 7:22pm

    We need an interesting leader to spark curiosity in the electorate.

  • Ruth

    Might be nice to have any sort of remuneration for candidates!

  • Lib Dem Mum 9th Aug '20 - 11:55am

    Ruth, you’d have to ask them, dear. Sorry. I would hope that parental leave of all kinds is something that they would at least consider?

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