LDV Sunday caption competition: Downing Street CSR special edition

There’s no prize at stake – just the opportunity to prove you’re wittier than any other LDV reader…

Here are the Coalition leaders and their guys at the Treasury thrashing out the Comprehensive Spending Review — what do you think they might be saying to, or thinking about, each other?

The winner of our most recent caption competition, the “Clegg and Hughes side by side” edition -– according to The Voice’s judging panel of one -– was this one by Benjamin, with an honourable mention for this one by Theseus Labyrinth.

Got a photo of a prominent Lib Dem you think would work well for a future caption competition? Then please email us at [email protected]

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34 Comments

  • Poppie's mum 24th Oct '10 - 4:40pm

    Cameron ‘How the hell are we going to con the public into thinking freezing Savings Credit for old ladies, moving thousands out of London because of capping Housing Benefit, reducing the Winter Fuel allowance next year by £50 and £100 for the over 80’s, making the disabled suffer …is fair and progressive ?’

    Clegg and Alexander ‘Just keep repeating it’s all Labour’s fault’

  • “The media will be in a cuts-frenzy for days after the announcement. How about we follow-up with a distraction story a day or so later – like an imminent terror threat, – or a nuclear submarine running aground?”

  • Poppie's mum 24th Oct '10 - 4:52pm

    richardsm

    Add release the David Kelly post mortem results as a distraction from the CSR, to your post

  • Poppie's mum 24th Oct '10 - 5:04pm

    Wee Danny Alexander thinks

    ‘People used to laugh at us Lib Dems, now they respect us for what we’re doing to country’

    Enter men in white coats who lead Alexander away.

  • @Poppie’s Mum

    Yes, that’s right. I thought that on Friday morning when the Kelly results were released out of the blue.

  • CAMERON: “Who’s going to do the Paxman interview?”

    OSBORNE: “I’m not doing Paxman.”

    CLEGG: “Well I’m not doing Paxman. Danny, you’ll have to do Paxman. I’ll do Desert Island Discs.”

  • Anthony Aloysius St 24th Oct '10 - 5:32pm

    “The things you see when you haven’t got a gun.”

  • Poppie's mum 24th Oct '10 - 5:43pm

    Clegg ‘They say we’re the four most hated men in the country. I just don’t understand why’

  • Poppie's mum 24th Oct '10 - 5:46pm

    Cameron ‘I really can’t see why people say we’re the government of white, rich, alpha males. Just look at Danny’.

    Alexander ‘Can I sit next to you at the CSR please Mr Cameron….please.’

  • Poppie's mum 24th Oct '10 - 5:58pm

    Cameron: ‘How long do you think we’ll get away with this for ? There’ll come a point when we can’t keep blaming Labour any more’

    Alexander: ‘Then we’ll blame the Lib Dems’

    Clegg: ‘Danny… we are the Lib Dems…remember’

    Alexander: ‘Oh’

  • CAMERON: “Look guys, this is serious – we”re in charge of the whole of the country. We can’t go on like this. One of us must have had some previous executive experience. I don’t want to bring Ken in.”

    CLEGG: “No – and I don’t want Cable in.”

    OSBORNE: “I worked in a shop once.”

    CLEGG: “I used to be a ski-ing instructor.”

    ALEXANDER: “I worked at the Cairngorms National Park.”

    CAMERON: “Excellent! That’ll do – transport management, taking decisions, directing traffic to the spaces.”

  • David Allen 24th Oct '10 - 7:39pm

    Cameron: “Why are we all sitting here just staring at each other, with no documents to read, and nobody making any notes?

    Clegg: “It’s just one more exhibition of meaningless posturing, of course. Aren’t we good at it!”

  • GO: “Dick says we’ve got to go easy on defence, and Rupert is telling us we have to screw the BBC.”

    DC: “I’m hoping we’ll meet both of them at Bohemian Grove next year. Dick, like me, is descended from Charlemagne. Did you know that?”

    DA: “I get the feeling I’m out of my depth here.”

  • GO: “This room is tilting. It must be the London clay.”

    DC: “Typical grammar school oik, that photographer. Can’t hold the bloody camera straight.”

  • First one to laugh goes for the pizzas.

  • Cheltenham Robin 24th Oct '10 - 9:40pm

    Cameron says: Look, we gave you a referendum on the voting system, introduced the pupil premium, promised to raise the tax threshold and agred to the creation of a green investment bank.

    However, appearing in a LDV caption competition was not part of the coalition agreement.

  • Dinti Batstone 24th Oct '10 - 10:06pm

    Cherchez la femme!

  • Don’t worry Dinti, Danny will do the washing-up.

  • Anthony Aloysius St 25th Oct '10 - 8:19am

    GO: “This room is tilting. It must be the London clay.”

    DC: “Typical grammar school oik, that photographer. Can’t hold the bloody camera straight.”

    DA: “Er. I went to a comprehensive actually. Erm. Sorry. [Coughs]”

  • Poppie's mum 25th Oct '10 - 8:24am

    Clegg: ‘What if the economists are right and we end up with unemployment ?

    Cameron: ‘Don’t worry Nick, there are plenty of lucrative directorships laid out in front of us’

  • Poppie's mum 25th Oct '10 - 8:31am

    Tea Lady [off camera]:
    Morning gents. Excuse me for joining in but if the situation is that bad how about making sure Vodaphone pay their tax, increasing Inheritance Tax and decreasing the threshold , and upping the tax threshold to 70p over £200,000 ?

    Clegg: mumbles….’That wouldn’t be fair and progressive because it wouldn’t hit the lower income groups’

    Osborne: ‘We’re scrapping minimum wage. This time next year you’ll be earning £2.50 an hour.’

  • do you think they can tell George is the only one who didn’t wash his shirt in Daz?

  • CAMERON: “We need more cuts. Any more suggestions Gideon?”

    OSBORNE: “Well, with the coalition representing 60%, I don’t see the point of MPs travelling from their constituencies to parliament anymore. They can all stay in their constituencies. We can make a huge saving in MP’s expenses and we can sell-off the Palace of Westminster.”

    CAMERON: “Brilliant idea Gideon, that’ll help the deficit.”

    ALEXANDER: “Isn’t that rather undemocratic?”

    CAMERON: “OK – let’s take a vote on it. All those in favour?”

  • “And are we REALLY sure it is necessary to cut the rest of the cabinet as part of the spending review?!”

  • Nick (not Clegg) 25th Oct '10 - 1:20pm

    If we don’t take any minutes they wn’t go out on Wikileaks

  • Cheltenham Robin 25th Oct '10 - 10:26pm

    Osborne:

    Of course there’s no biscuits – we’ve all got to share the pain you know.

  • Partner swapping – the coalition Government’s latest policy

  • Osborne: We are all in this together. Us four, and all those chairs….

  • Done and dusted. Spot of arm wrestling anyone?

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