Firstly, to introduce myself, I’m Amanda Clark and a proud mum of two adult children. Brooke, 26 and Archie, 22. I took early retirement from teaching three years ago and we moved up to Kinross, Scotland in 2022- returning to my husband’s homeland. He now runs a small manufacturing business in Fife. We love it here.

We really should be ‘Empty Nesters’ – kids independent albeit physically- not necessarily financially…… A bit more disposable income and more time on our hands…we could go to the pub with friends, travel to those bucket list locations and take advantage of cheap last minute city breaks except we’re not TYPICAL EMPTY NESTERS.

Brooke has flown the nest but our lovely Archie has a severe to moderate learning disability, Autism and ADHD and if that wasn’t enough at the age of 16 he developed Epilepsy. Archie needs constant supervision, the right meds and 247 care. Like other brave, selfless Parent Carers we have made the momentous decision to keep him living at home with us for as long as we can.

Trouble is where as much as Archie is mentally disabled, he is very physically able full of energy and bounce! He’s our very own 22-year-old Tigger toddler. Archie thinks nothing of jogging round the Lochs, running flat out on Fife beaches and striding up the Lomond Hills- often with his panting aging parents in hot pursuit. We are fortunate that three days a week he goes up in a minibus to Corbenic Camphill near Dunkeld to the Daycentre.  There they embrace the environment and often take him and his peers on six-mile hikes in the hills. Perfect for Archie during the day but sometimes I feel really trapped and depressed due to the lack of overnight cover for him.

I try not to get too jealous when our neighbours- with kids the same age set off in their camper van for three weeks touring Europe or my American cousins- both retired teachers- post endless pictures of their global tours.

We are entitled to four weeks overnight respite break…as you can gather- we need it…but finding the right place away from home is proving impossible.  Not only is there a lack of locations for overnight short breaks but there is a lack of a variety of settings that will cater for the different needs of our loved ones. A place that will cater for someone older, perhaps with Dementia, or someone more passive is sadly NOT the right place for our Archie. His behaviour and needs are managed better if he gets out and about and expends his energy. Sadly, if this doesn’t happen, he can unfortunately get agitated and aggressive.

We recently tried out a lovely place in Fife but, unfortunately, it didn’t turn out to be right for Archie and the only other place offered to us for overnight respite was in Glasgow – over an hour away.

We do have a wonderful Carer, Vicky, who will come and stay at home with Archie while we grab a rare trip away. She’s a trained nurse…knows his routines and his meds. The problem here is we have to pay to stay away to get a meaningful break and with me being an Unpaid Carer this has financial implications.

This year my husband and I celebrate 30 years of marriage and in June we are off on a dream holiday- a Safari in Botswana. Wonderful Vicky is booked to come and look after Archie for 12 days. And despite the fact I know we deserve this and should be entitled to a trip of a lifetime we will find it difficult to be so far away.

But just to add to the anxieties of this, I discovered to my horror, after exhaustive research, including contacting Carers UK for advice and the Institute of Insurance Brokers that we can’t cover a Paid Carer coming to stay in your house for Travel Insurance Cancellation. If I, my husband, a close relative or a business partner fell ill or were injured then we would get most of the money back but not an approved paid carer coming to look after a disabled adult. We can’t leave Archie on his own obviously so apparently, according to one big travel insure we would be ‘disinclined to travel’!!! As if!

So please keep your fingers crossed that Vicky doesn’t break a leg or need her appendix out in before our grand departure because we really deserve this holiday so we can be typical empty nesters for once!

* Amanda Clark is an unpaid Carer and member of Perth and Kinross Lib Dems