I heard the announcement by Nick Clegg regarding shared parental leave and I am pleased that the party is moving the arrangements into the 21st century and away from the 1950’s. I do though still have an internal sigh when I hear the debate only being framed as a “mummy and daddy” debate, when it is reported in the media.

Hearing this language personally annoys me, as it reinforces the view that a family is only correct if it is for one mother and one father. This is patent nonsense in the 21st century and causes subconscious bias towards parenting being one mother and one father.

In an era when there are high profile same-sex-parents such as Elton John and David Furnish and lesbian couples have the right to be named as parents on birth certificates, this rhetoric is arcane. Society is changing but reporting still has a way to go.

I also notice the announcement is free from regulations which will prevent discrimination against same-sex-couples particularly women when asking an employer for shared parental leave. In some cases doing so this may result in their sexual orientation being revealed to their employer.

This then brings up the issue of gender differences within same-sex-couples registering the birth of a child. In cases of females in a civil partnership who undergo IVF through a clinic, both can automatically be registered as the parents of their children. This reciprocal arrangement does not exist to civil partnered male couples. Male civil partnered couples must before registering a birth obtain a court issued parenting order and incur the associated court fees and costs, which go with anything that involves a court. This is discriminatory and applies even if there is an agreement between all parties involved (the male partners and the surrogate).  This can be particularly distressing in cases of registering a stillbirth, as a court order would be needed before the stillbirth could be registered with the two intended male parents listed.

This leads in to the final area of parental equality: Trans*parents.  The current system bans a birth certificate issued to a child from being amended if a parent undergoes gender reassignment, even if all parties involved consent. No one other than the parents and the child (if the child has the capacity to consent) has a right to interfere in a family’s composition or identity, not the state, society, or other family members. This only reinforces discrimination against Trans*people and leaves the door open to lots of unnecessary questions regarding who has parental rights to a child from for example schools.

It is time to shift the rhetoric and close these loopholes that still exist in a system that is slowly moving towards equality but is doing so in a clunky and sometimes cracked way, but a step forward is still a step forward, it is just the rest of the steps still need to be made as well.

* The author is known to the LDV team but their identity is being withheld. .