It’s 2070 and at a Royal Mail sorting depot in London, staff gather to wish a very special person a Happy 100th Birthday. Mark Pack (no longer a Lord since he helped ensure the abolition of the House of Lords in the late 2040s during the first majority Lib Dem administration in 140 years led by Eleanor Kelly) had become something of a hero to the Royal Mail workers over the years.
Back in June 2026, Mark Pack had asked the most Lib Dem of questions in the House of Lords, on one of the party’s key obsessions:
When the Minister invited him to a meeting to discuss the problem, Mark brought along his collection of leaflet delviery spatulas, complete with data on which one was most effective at deterring canines lurking behind the door. This led to every postie in Britain being issued with a spatula, which soon became known as a “spackula”
Almost 50 years on, Mark’s centenary was celebrated by a 100 foot long dark chocolate cake in the shape of a spackula. He had come straight from his Lib Dem delivery round – not so many hills these days, but still one with plenty potholes and blocked drains to report.
* Newshound in training. I'm sweet and full of mischief, just like my stories.
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5 Comments
Father was a postie for 33 years and was well aware of the dangers from dogs. He was bitten by an alsation on a driveway. Dogs owners found it most amusing.
GPs are/were also a risk group. And it is not just fingers. I got a very nasty dog bite on the bum once.
“And it is not just fingers. I got a very nasty dog bite on the bum once.” It’s only Monday and I have a mental image of someone trying to push a leaflet through a letter box using their bottom. Hence the advice to use a spatula not body parts.
I was bitten twice in my time as a delivery postman. Later as a union representative I regularly campaigned on the issue of dog attacks.
Fortunately in my years political canpaigning I have avoided physical injury!
Well done to Mark for raising the issue.
I can’t understand why all the parties, all of whom face this exact challenge haven’t united on this and worked together on this if only out of self interest, surely our politicians aren’t that bad at collaboration.