101 uses for Tony Blair?

Tony Blair says he is considering ways in which he may be of use in returning to UK public life, as reported in an interview write-up in Esquire magazine.

Perhaps he needs our help to suggest ways he could be of use to the public and UK politics in general?

Prior to its complete and expensive refurbishment, the Houses of Parliament are notoriously draughty. If he puts on a thick coat, our esteemed former PM could lie down and stop one particularly nasty draught circulating.

He could do impersonations of Banquo’s ghost at parties.

He could be a Hughie Green tribute act – I can imagine him saying: “I mean that most sincerely folks”.

There’s a host of possibilities: A scarecrow. A door stop. A traffic calming measure.

He could go on the sofa of “This Week“. If he sits next to Diane Abbott, the resulting static electricity between them could power several world countries.

Any other ideas?

* Paul Walter is a Liberal Democrat activist and member of the Liberal Democrat Voice team. He blogs at Liberal Burblings.

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This entry was posted in Humour.


  • Daniel Henry 10th Oct '16 - 11:53am

    A challenging question!

    Thankfully, Harry Enfield and Whitehouse have explored this issue:

  • Is this instead of his current role as A Warning From History?

  • Leekliberal 10th Oct '16 - 4:24pm

    A Trappist monk?

  • Barry Snelson 10th Oct '16 - 5:02pm

    Lighthouse keeper, Mars astronaut, hobo, hermit, round the world yachtsman, Ayers Rock guide…….

  • Matt (Bristol) 10th Oct '16 - 5:15pm

    In a parallel universe, Owen Smith won the Labour leadership contest, and in the spirit of naieve stupidity which his campaign was remarkable for, repeated William Hague’s ridiculous inaugural conference stunt of putting all the living ex-leaders on armchairs at the side of the stage.

    (In 1998, this led to one of the last (very) public displays of Ted Heath’s utter hatred of Thatcher – a whole week of disgusted stares for press photographers to document.)

    Imagine the Labour equivalent – Kinnock, Blair, Brown, Milliband, Corbyn, all lined up next to each other trying to find something to say to each other.

  • Andrew Martin 10th Oct '16 - 6:41pm

    Somehow I don’t think trashing Tony Blair is the best way to build a core vote based around the moderate centre-left and europhiles.

  • Somewhere there is a small village who miss him.

  • Christopher Haigh 10th Oct '16 - 10:14pm

    I just wish the clock could be turned back to 2008 and Tony Blair continued to be labour leader instead of the dour Gordon Brown catastrophe.

  • Lorenzo Cherin 11th Oct '16 - 1:31am

    Blair would be funny if he had been, was or is, useless, something very far from the truth. As it and he is, I feel sad that it has come to him being either a figure of hatred by those that hate him, or hilarity by those who think the idea of him contributing anything , hilarious. I prefer the latter , for cannot feel the former.

    I was a member of the labour party off and on , through the Kinnock and earlier Blair years , and keen on both. I went off the party , more than them. I had not been a member a while , when the stance of this party impressed me increasingly more , especially after Iraq, and I first joined in 2004.

    I too , do see Blair as a Shakespearean figure, King Lear on a smaller scale , PM Lear !

    If he can make up for his awful mistakes with genuine service of some sort , I for one would be prepared to look and listen , to one of the most talented and tainted politicians ever, in this country .

  • Simon Banks 11th Oct '16 - 9:51am

    I know quite a lot of moderate centre-left people and Europhiles. Few of them can mention Tony Blair’s name without at a least a hint of disgust. The moderate Labour people, except for a few Blairite acolytes, see him as the cuckoo in the nest who destroyed the credibility of moderate Labour/ social democracy. Blair’s instincts were managerial, deceiving, cosying up to power whatever its character and controlling. That pretty well defines the opposites to most of the key points in Liberalism.

    101 uses? He’s slim: how about a hat-stand at number ten? Or on the model of the cut-out police patrol cars used (at one time, anyway) in Northumbria police area to frighten speeding motorists, plonk him down at arms fairs and meetings with dictators? Or of course, if Donald Trump gets elected, special envoy to the US from, oh, I don’t know, Russia?

  • Richard Warren 11th Oct '16 - 4:53pm

    Blair did some bad things, but he also did some good things: introducing minimum wage (Lib Dem policy for decades previous), devolution (Lib Dem policy for decades previous) and installing Mayor of London/GLA, so credit where credit due.

  • steven brooke 11th Oct '16 - 7:48pm


  • Lorenzo Cherin 11th Oct '16 - 10:41pm

    Richard Warren

    A voice of reason and sense, thanks for that , and add; record investment in schools and hospitals , New Deal in employment creating jobs for youth and longterm unemployed, New Deal for communities with millions to inner cities, Sure Start, Civil Partnerships for same sex couples, the repeal of Section 28,a pro European enthusiasm and a strong internationalism, investment in the arts and interest in the creative industries, etc!

    Post 9:11 , and from the Iraq war , Blair lost the plot . Prior to that , and as a man of ability and a leader of strength, so much in the way of policy and potential, squandered but not so that it is not evident and a regret.

  • David Garlick 12th Oct '16 - 12:04pm

    Anything with no responsibility for taking a decision nor any connection with foreign policy.

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