Top Trump politicos – who’s the most fanciable of them all?

Politicos Top Trumps Specials – conference 2010 – are here. The chance to do top-trumpy battle with MPs well known and not so well known from across the political spectrum.

And alongside the fairly cut-and-dried majority and years in parliament categories, there are three that may cause a little more disagreement amongst the onlookers, not to mention the all-important write-ups of each member.

“Millionaire environmentalist” Zac Goldsmith may have the top fanciability – a storming 100 – but may be a little disappointed to be given a potential of just 3/10.

Even Eric Pickles might find it hard to object to his lowest-in-the-pack fanciability rating of 26, but 46 for Caroline Lucas? Yvette Cooper obviously floats someone’s boat with 66 for fanciability, but Michael Gove coming out as more fanciable than David Laws will surely raise a few eyebrows.

Who has the potential and who’s past their prime or heading nowhere?

Dianne Abbott gets a potential of just 2/10, but Ed Miliband (“the human brother”) a more high-flying 9/10, as done MiliD.

With a storm warning of 50, David Davis is the MP most likely to become a political shipwreck, though Simon Hughes on 46 and Ed Miliband on 40 aren’t far behind.

A few less well known names are thrown into the mix. “TV totty” Gloria de Piero (Lab, Ashfield) may only have a potential of 4/10 but the fanciability of 79 (only nine short of Andy Burnham and six points ahead of Harriet Harman) may have swung it for her.

Similarly Rory Stewart (Con, Penrith and the Border) may have got onto the list for some other reason, but his description (“Raffish, modern-day Lawrence of Arabia and international man of mystery” and “the Tories’ most eligible bachelor”) suggests the creators think many a maiden’s heart may be set a-pounding.

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This entry was posted in Conference and Humour.


  • Or David Milliband more than Andy Burnham! A very strange set of rankings.

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