Lazy Sunday: The newsview from Newsmoggie’s cat basket

“It’s getting better every day” as Cass Elliot once sang. There is certainly more cheer than fear as I gaze out from my nest on the radiators of LDV Towers this weekend. With the weekend’s papers spread before me for later use, Newsmoggie learns that there has been an outbreak of butt nipping. Maybe that’s Tories frustrated on not being able to comment on Conservative Home. The Chinese are too busy to solve anything as they are engaged in a dastardly communist plot to take over our schools. Or is that a fantasy like the Boris Roundabout under the isle of Man?

I see there is a bit of a rumpus going on at No 10 about the State of the Union. Oliver Lewis (who was he?) has walked the plank, according to the Telegraph, Times, Mail and others. Some Tories are calling for in inquiry into Carrie Symonds who is alleged to be running the country, or at the very least pulling the prime minister’s pyjama strings.  The Sun reports that Boris Johnson will stop shuffling around in his slippers and tripping over my mate Larry to reshuffle his Cabinet in May. The pubs may reopen before then in England according to some reports allowing those that don’t meet Carrie’s approval to drown their sorrows.

Covid rates are falling and the vax champions are belting out doses. Boris and that nice Matt Hancock are promising all adults will be jabbed by the end of July. With Johnson’s roadmap due tomorrow – but remember it’s about data not dates – the news feels so good that I can almost sniff a general election later this year. My junior partner Newshound is looking forward to going to the polling station again to have his photo taken.

John McDonnell has called for a windfall tax on those who have profited from the coronavirus pandemic to pay for cancellation of household debts built up during the crisis.

Private schools in the UK are being taken over by the communist party of China according to today’s expert witness, Nigel Farage. Perhaps the Chinese could build the roundabout under the Isle of Man which is being considered by civil servants according to the Sunday Times. The Tories penchant for using dodgy contractors has reached new heights. The company that curates the comments section on Conservative Home has done a bunk.

No. It is not April the first.

There has been a bit of a fuss up in Cumbria over a coal mine. For locals it’s jobs. For our leader and green activists, it’s a scary proposal. Texas, the Lone Star state, has frozen giving a boost to the climate change sceptics in a state that has long championed the individual over public good and oil over a sustainable future. Sorry dudes, extreme heat and extreme cold weather events are the price of global warming.

When Newsmoggie finally gets the invite to Desert Island Discs, I am going to choose the theme from Fireball XL5 as my favourite disc. I was reminded of this treasure by the landing of Perseverance on Mars, a beacon of hope during what are often grim times. I am going to be the first cat on the moon. Sing along now:

“I wish I was a spacecat, the fastest cat alive.”

And finally, an Alaskan woman had her butt nipped while on the khasi. She’d bared herself to a bear as only Alaskans can do. Newshound is busy recruiting chihuahuas for butt nipping duty at the Conservative Campaign Headquarters, known now as CCHQ. This is not to be confused with GCHQ which is where the intelligent people work.

* Newsmoggie – bringing you comment from a different perspective

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3 Comments

  • Helen Dudden 22nd Feb '21 - 1:29pm

    Rose the lovable black cat wished to reply.
    My human doesn’t like Hancock, who told you Newsmoggie he was nice?
    It takes more than cat treats.

  • “With the weekend’s newspapers spread before me.” A question :

    How can an honest political party put out a broadsheet (looking like a free local newspaper), title, ‘The Northants Citizen’, headline : “More housing but you won’t have a say”, when official Lib Dem policy states :

    “Whether renting or buying, too many people across the country – people who work hard and play by the rules – are struggling to afford good homes in the right location.
    We are facing a national housing crisis. Both Labour and the Conservatives, in pursuing Brexit, show they are willing to risk 10% of our construction workers who are from the EU, making this crisis worse.

    A Liberal Democrat government will tackle the housing crisis by ensuring that 300,000 new homes are built per year, including 100,000 social homes for rent”.

    BUT : presumably not in my back garden in Northamptonshire ?

    The public aren’t daft, but it does make one want to despair

  • Helen Dudden 22nd Feb '21 - 9:02pm

    I hope the addition of Power Wheelchair users, will not be forgotten in the housing proposals.
    I’m a fire hazard within Social Housing, my lithium batteries can produce hydrogen when charging. I understand less than 1% of proposed housing, will fit this Category. Accessible, is simply not enough. There are no kept figures by Local Authorities, on just how many are waiting, often many years.
    Locally, I’ve suggested that a property that’s built for disabled people is not let to General Needs, hence the need for numbers.

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