My mother died last year. She was an amazing woman, as an academic, a mother, a mountaineer and much more. But her breast cancer had metastasised to her stomach and abdomen, killing her. But because she lived in New South Wales, Australia, she could choose Voluntary Assisted Dying, and was able to control how, when, and where she would die. That mattered immensely to her, empowering her to end her life with dignity, how she chose.
When I was an MP, I was keen to see the UK pass legislation to enable this in the UK – but the opportunity never arose. I’m delighted that Kim Leadbeater did propose an Assisted Dying Bill, and have been following it closely before and after the key second reading debate. Today’s MPs have this chance once again and I am meeting with Parliamentarians today to argue that they must deliver this long overdue reform.
Assisted dying is an issue of both principle and practice. As a Liberal Democrat, I have always shared commitments to liberty, equality, and human rights. These values are the foundation of my conviction on this issue. Allowing people to make their own decisions at the end of life is both the liberal and the Liberal thing to do. I was so pleased and proud to see that, in line with these values, the vast majority of Liberal Democrat MPs (85%) supported this Bill at Second Reading, especially given our manifesto commitment to making time for a full and fair debate. But as ever, it is the combination of the personal and the political that makes my support for law change so urgent.
My mother, Professor Felicia Huppert, was a pioneering psychologist with academic expertise and interest in well-being and peace of mind in healthcare settings and beyond. Her work covered everything from aging and dementia to positive psychology and wellbeing – one of her last articles was entitled, appropriately “Compassion at the heart of well-being”. She was also a liberal – a founder member of the SDP. Her books – especially on ‘Creating the world we want to live in’ and ‘The Science of Wellbeing’ could be essential reading for anyone – liberal or otherwise, who wants to think about how to empower people to make their lives better.
I would much rather that she had never had cancer, and that she’d lived a long and healthy life. But that was not to be – I will forever be grateful that the choice of Voluntary Assisted Dying (VAD) – legal in NSW since 2023 – allowed her to live her values through her illness and into her final moments.
She lived with breast cancer for more than ten years by the time it metastasised to her bones, brain and stomach and became terminal. Her care was exceptional. She wasn’t in pain and her mind was sharp though she was often exhausted. But she knew that ultimately, her options were something happening naturally that would hasten her death – maybe a stroke or an infection – or slowly becoming weaker and frailer until she slipped away from us for good.
She was so happy when she learned that NSW had an assisted dying law that would allow her to make a choice about how and when she died. She felt immense security to find out that she would be able to have control, not her disease. She told me that the two best things that happened during her terminal illness were me coming to Sydney to be with her for two months, and being allowed Voluntary Assisted Dying. I never asked which mattered more.
From my experience with my mother, I could not have more confidence that the assisted dying process strikes the necessary balance between providing meaningful choice, and protecting those who need it. The medical teams who facilitate this all-important process for their patients were capable, sensitive, and experts in both assisted dying and wider end-of-life options.
NSW law mandated that two independent doctors were required to assess her eligibility and capacity and ensure the voluntariness of her decision. This was then sanctioned by a final sign-off from the NSW Voluntary Assisted Dying Board. But the doctors and nurses involved in the process went far beyond that in what they offered her. They were warm, supportive professionals, and generous with both their expertise and their time. She had a nurse ‘navigator’ who helped her to handle the intricacies of the system and even advocated on her behalf to ensure she had the best possible care.
Once her decision had been approved, the choice remained entirely in her hands. She was free to choose, or crucially not choose, the date that she wanted her life to end with two days’ notice for the medical team involved at the end. Once she had decided, she had final conversations with friends and loved ones, and made sure her family could be around her. We spent the night before her death talking about the past, the future, and her grandchildren. Together we chose the last piece of music she wanted to hear.
On the day itself, her medical team still made no assumptions. She was asked several times whether she definitely wanted to go ahead. When she paused seconds before the end, it was not to say she had changed her mind but because she remembered that she wanted to thank the VAD team and the nurses who had given her such good care. She told us that “love lasts longer than life”. We held her hands as she died.
I miss my mum every day. But I have been so consoled by the fact that she had what must be among the best of deaths. This Parliament has a generational opportunity to bend the arc of history towards compassion and justice. I only hope they are brave enough to seize it.
* Julian Huppert was the Liberal Democrat MP for Cambridge from 2010-15
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5 Comments
Julian, although your mother died full of years, having had a full life, I am sorry for your loss.
My grandmother was taken into hospital in 1966. She remarked to my mother “If I’m not going home, I’m fine with that. I’ve had a good innings”. She was diagnosed with the early stages of cancer, and the doctors told my mother – of course, in those days, the one person you didn’t talk to was the actual patient – “We could patch her up, but she’d have a very poor quality of life. We shall just keep her comfortable…”
And she died within 48 hours.
It was only recently that I realised that she might have been “kept comfortable” with the aid of something like the famed Brompton Cocktail. Does that trouble me? No, it doesn’t. Because I also remember her funeral, when she was in her coffin in the front room for people to say goodbye. She looked utterly peaceful. Her last gift to me was the knowledge that death itself isn’t to be feared.
But the process of dying may be. And I fervently hope that Parliament will not pass a Mentally Competent Adults (Compulsory Dying in Agony) Bill.
My thanks to Julian Huppert for sharing his personal story.
I am a Muslim, and Islam teaches that suicide is wrong. I see that as matter between each individal and God, and consider it improper for religious people to seek to impose their religious views upon others. That is why I was so opposed to Shabana Mahmood MP citing her religious beliefs as her reason for opposing the Bill.
I have been a member the Campaign for Dignity in Dying for around 20 years. The law in Britain needs to change. Many other countries have assisted dying legislation, and I am not aware of it being a problem anywhere. What choices I might make personally will depend on the situation at the time.
Julian, Your mother sounds a wonderful and inspiring woman. I am so sorry for your loss.
I find this article very hard to respond to, but feel that I must. I do hope that nothing I say will seem insensitive.
I just don’t feel that your mother’s positive experience can or should be used as an argument for the Leadbeater bill. Legalising assisted dying could only possibly be justified if there were absolutely watertight safeguards to prevent anyone from being coerced into opting for assisted suicide, or from doing so because they feel afraid of being a burden to others. But the Leadbeater bill is very poorly thought out, and even the inadequate safeguards it originally had are being diluted by the committee, on which Kim Leadbeater ensured that her supporters would be in a majority. So far, every amendment intended to strengthen safeguards has been voted down by the committee.
Your mother was a highly educated woman who had extensive knowledge of the healthcare system. She also had you to support her and to advocate for her. But to be acceptable, legislation would need to be safe not just for someone like your mother, but for someone with little knowledge of the system, and with no family, or family who cannot or will not advocate for them, or an abusive partner who is coercing them to feel that suicide is the only option. There is nothing liberal about legislation that would cause such danger to vulnerable people
Like Julian, I was fortunate to be able to witness the Australian voluntary assisted dying system first hand earlier this year, when my cousin Kathy, in South Australia, decided that her terminal cancer had left her with no quality of life and in pain which could not be controlled. She said farewell to family, friends and her medical team, put on some Beatles music and took the potion which allowed her to slip away. This contrasts to the agony and suffering of my own father, here in Edinburgh, as the doctors kept him alive and suffering in agony, long after he was able to walk, talk, feed himself, go to the bathroom or do anything more than a new born baby could. For a man of 65 who had worked for 50 years and did not live long enough to collect his state pension, the state should have been able to allow him an escape from this torture, which he asked for repeatedly. If I am ever in his position, I will be faced with the choice of staying in Scotland, going to Switzerland or returning to Australia, where I was born. The last two options are currently my first two choices, but both mean that I will have to leave my family friends and most importantly of all my grand-children, or to stay with them and possibly face the same end as my father. Those who object to this legislation should not be able to deny choice from people who wish to make a decision for themselves.
Hi all – thanks for the constructive comments!
Neil – thanks for sharing the story about your grandmother, and I like your ‘Mentally Competent Adults (Compulsory Dying in Agony) Bill’ phrasing. I suspect strongly that once this is allowed, the pressure to oppose it will massively go away, as we saw with same sex marriage and many other things. I’ve been looking for people complaining in NSW since the legislation came in, and can’t find anything; it’s all from beforehand.
Mohammed – I think you are absolutely right with what you say! It’s perfectly sensible for any of us to say ‘I don’t want this for myself, for religious or other reasons – but other people can make up their own mind!’ And of course supporting the legislation doesn’t mean anyone should feel pressurised later on to make any particular choice. It’s interesting to me that of all the religious and non-religious groups surveyed, only Muslims were on balance against the bill.
Catherine – thanks for your comments. I don’t agree with you, as you’d expect. I think the positivity of someone going through it is an important factor in deciding whether to proceed with this. I also think that the safeguards are sensible and appropriate – there’s never such a thing as a complete and utter safeguard on anything, but as I mentioned above, I cannot find any issues being raised in NSW since the legislation there was passed, and the proposal here in the UK provides more safeguards than the NSW one. I do agree that there should be patient supporters throughout the system – and again in NSW that is provided, with no pressure to use VAD.
John – thanks for sharing those two contrasting stories, which to me illustrate so well why we should allow a dignified death for those who want it. I certainly think Dignitas is not a great solution – it means that choice is only available to wealthier people, and frankly when I do die, I’d rather not have to fly to Switzerland to do it!