Originally from Russia (actually born in the last years of theSoviet Union), since moving to the UK I for long time didn’t join any political party. The concept of joining a party in my mind wasn’t a voluntary thing, as it was compulsory in my parents’ day in the USSR and there was only one party one could join. However while finding out more and more about different parties in the UK the shock of actually being able to choose who to join brought me to realising what it is I care most about.

I care about democracy, again a word that doesn’t apply to Russia even in the present day. I care about equal opportunities for everyone, Human Rights and liberal values. The choice was obvious.

I deeply regret that when I first joined the Liberal Democrat I didn’t do much else – I went to one conference, that’s about it. I think it was more like a gesture, sort of saying “I cannot vote for you (because after 9 years and 8 months that I’m living in the UK I still can’t vote) but I join the party to show that if I had the right to vote, I would vote for you.”

I got busy with work and working on my music projects, and I didn’t even notice my membership expired. I thought I’d renew at some juncture, when I have free time. And then on Thursday night results started coming in – and they were bad. At around 6am on Friday I realised how bad it’s going to be. We lost so badly, so painfully that I couldn’t bear it. I went to work on Friday and tried to keep an eye on my phone when I could and at around midday a message from my friend came “Just seen the news. So sorry”. I didn’t even reply, but grabbed the phone and went on the news site – that’s where I saw about Nick’s resignation. I ran to the bathroom and cried while watching his speech. Behind Nick I saw people who I knew worked so hard for the last couple of months fighting back tears and it was just heart-breaking. All of it was heart-breaking. I have to say, the speech was phenomenal.

I knew I had to join Lib Dems again, only this time be proactive – fight for what I stand for and believe in, get out there and spread the word. I know it wasn’t my fault that the election results were as they were, but I know that I could do my small bit now – there’s a mayoral by-election in Tower Hamlets where I live, and if I have to knock on every door and explain to people what Lib Dems stand for, I will do that. I can’t leave it to someone else as clearly we need all the volunteers and activists right now. I cannot afford to do what I did before – to join and stay passive, it is clear in my mind that this is the time I need to start acting on my beliefs.

* Anna Ovsyanikova is a member of the Liberal Democrats in Tower Hanlets