“In November 2020, I had a breakdown.”

 This was how my op-ed, “The importance of acknowledging mental health,” began. I discussed my mental breakdown and how I couldn’t face the world, and wished that the ground would swallow me up so I wouldn’t have to face another day.

It’s been three years since the piece, and now is a good time to reflect on what’s happened since.

My Sertraline intake has increased and stabilised at 100mg a day. I experimented, with my doctor’s consent, to find the dosage for me. 25mg was far too little, as was 50mg. At the start of taking 100mg, I felt like a zombie, sedated but not tired. This lasted for around two weeks, after which the feeling subsided and, touch wood, has not returned.

 Despite still facing situations that fill me with anxiety or fear, there’s something different about how I feel. It’s a sense of capability that wasn’t there before, a feeling that I can handle these challenges. It’s a key benefit of medication – your anxiety doesn’t vanish, but you develop the resiliency to face it. Your mental health issues don’t evaporate, and you’re not ‘cured,’ because there’s nothing to ‘cure.’ Everyone experiences it, but some, like myself, need a little help in managing it.

Through counselling, I discussed issues related to trust and a long-standing self-loathing. The process was enlightening. Having someone I don’t know listen to my problems, allowing me space to vent and cry, before opening up a discussion on WHY I’m feeling that way, was fantastic. I was fortunate enough to have my employer cover the cost of all my sessions. If you get the chance, speak to a counsellor. It helps set things right.

 I’d like to close this piece with the same sentiment I shared all those years ago.

 At the first sign of your mental health declining, address it, speak up, don’t let it fester or think you’re a burden. You’re far from it. The people in your life love you. They want you to tell them when something’s wrong and that you need help. There is a wealth of support available, from loved ones to professionals. Trust me, how you feel on the other side of it all will be worth it.

* Jack Meredith is a member of the Welsh Liberal Democrats and Wales Chair for Centre Think Tank. His writing focuses on democratic reform, social justice, economic democracy, and the institutional foundations of effective government. He has written for Lib Dem Voice, Liberator, Fabians, Centre Write, Nation.Cymru, and Bylines Cymru.