Today’s Independent carries an extensive excerpt from Lib Dem MP Mark Oaten’s soon-to-be-published autobiographical book, Screwing Up, published next week – you can order it from Amazon using this link (and earn the party some commission). Here’s the book blurb:
Mark Oaten is a politician of nearly 13 years standing, having famously won the seat of Winchester in 1997 with a majority of only two, though a by-election later returned him with a majority of 20,000. More famously, he hit the headlines in January 2006 when, shortly after announcing his withdrawal from the race to succeed Charles Kennedy as leader of the Lib Dems, Oaten was caught up in the biggest political scandal of the year as the News of the World published the story of his relations with a rent boy. His world collapsed. This is the story of a man obsessed by retaining his youth, fearful of turning 40 and feeling a complete failure. It s the story of coping with media scandal, and of how he and his wife Belinda managed to save their marriage, as well as his own recent decision to leave politics for the unknown. Whilst offering a fascinating insight into the working life of a constituency MP, Screwing Up is not a political memoir but the deeply touching and human story of a man at his wits end, trying to cope with the onset of middle age.
And here’s an excerpt from the excerpt:
… the real question about all of this is not what I did but why. I wish there was a simple answer. My sexuality had never been something I ever had reason to question. As a teenager I was as keen as all my mates to get a girlfriend and quickly had a string of relationships. By the time I married Belinda in 1992 I had fallen head over heels in love with her and our relationship was wonderful.
So how did the need to experiment with my sexuality start? In months of counselling after the affair became public I spent hours going through the reasons. I think there are a number of complex factors at work. Seeing this 23-year-old man was obviously an enormous personal risk. I used my own phone to call him and made no attempt to hide the number. I turned up in my work clothes, on one occasion direct from a television studio.
Yet I had no real concept of the risk I was taking. I didn’t think for a moment that he would have a clue who I was. I just assumed that he was unlikely to watch Newsnight and that I wasn’t a well-known public figure. (If I’d been thinking rationally I would have realised that by 2004 my face was in the national news most weeks.) …
I don’t think that many people can be 100 per cent gay or 100 per cent heterosexual. I am certainly not, and at times in their lives some people experiment along the spectrum. … Does that mean I am gay? No, but I completely at ease with those that are. … There is something interesting about the world they live in: it feels very free, without responsibility. Perhaps above all – and here lies a big clue in my case – there is a youthfulness about it. It is in total contrast to the life of the fortysomething Hampshire dad, married with two children, who is getting fat and losing his looks. I think I am driven by an attempt to escape middle age and recapture my youth.
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30 Comments
Oh God, does he really have to remind us of this? Still, at least he left out the “messy” details.
Why the hell doesn’t Oaten just shut up and keep quiet.
Tony Greaves
Next time I see Mark Oaten remind me to smack him in the face. Being gay, I will be ‘free of responsibility’ for my actions.
Tony,
you have come out a little harsh on Oaten. He is a bit gay and mostly straight, strange but you have to accept him for what he is.
I don’t think Tony was objecting to Mark’s sexuality but to his insistence on stringing out his story apparently regardless of the damage it will do to the rest of us in the party and the Lib Dems in Winchester in particular.
‘Oh God, does he really have to remind us of this?’
Yes,I can still remember the TV pictures during the leadership camapign of him playing happy familes around the kitchen table.
I guess he’s just trying to make a fast buck before he joins the dole queue,his taste in extreme sports somehat limits his career opportunities.
It would have been better if he had waited until June of next year before publishing this.
I accept that what happened was a personal tradegy for Mark Oaten, and one I would not wish on anyone. But I cannot imagine what must have been going through his mind when he decided to stand for leader of the party knowing that this was something he was doing. Not only did he pay a high price, so did the party, just at a time when we needed to re-establish our credibility after the lamentable downfall of Charles Kennedy.
Yet it was not long before when we saw a similar humiliation for Ron Davies. So why on earth should any MP think they are immune if they behave in this fashion?
It is not his bisexuality that is the issue. It is his judgement, of which publishing this book at this time is yet another example.
Woah, enough condemnation, already!
He sought humiliation in his private life and has recieved public humiliation. I think the man has paid enough and we should be able to forgive him. Self-destructive behaviour patterns exist in the corners of many of our own lives, whether it is through legal choices like smoking and drinking or illegal choices like paying for sex and decieving loved ones. So who here is prepared to face up to their own problems and insecurities in the way he did?
His is an example of how everything will come out in the wash and it is therefore better to be honest now. And as such he is in a position to comment on any raft of issues where politicians aren’t being entirely forthright or honest, such as regarding expenses, or party spending proposals. Of which there are not a few.
Mark Oaten does have a strong liberal voice, and while he is obviously chastened by his experience it would be a sad day for the country if politics lost his contribution and he declined to take part in public life any more.
He made himself an abject example of how MPs with terrificly high FPTP majorities will take more risks with regards to what they can get away with.
Have to echo Oranjepan – “Let he who casts the first stone”.
This is very old news indeed. In 2006 there was a whole hour long TV documentary with Mark exploring why he did this. He sat in the same room as where Freud’s couch is kept – with noted psychotherapist Phillip Hodson. HE said more or less what is in the extract above.
Hodson writes an interesting subject on the subject here:
http://www.philliphodson.co.uk/articles/publicmen.pdf
Sorry “article on the subject”
It’s worth noting this fascinating analysis from Philip Hodson. For me, it is a rational explanation for the whole sorry tale:
“Finally, the role of the unconscious mind in causing these very sad and destructive
social unmaskings should not be underestimated. For many husbands, particularly in
middle-age, there is a quiet and unexplained desperation to escape an existing
pattern of life. Possibly they are attracted to power more than power is attracted to
them, and this triggers depression. Perhaps their career no longer fits them at all but
they cannot easily think about sloughing off its constricting skin. Part of them wants
to play; part of them seeks attention; part wants to drop out; part wants to be young
again; part wants to be mothered; part wants to be an artist; part wants to retire – but
none of these is considered ‘rational’. Instead, they get themselves into a horrible
public pickle – rather like the ex-Director of Public Prosecutions Sir Allan Green who
of all people was caught kerb-crawling in King’s Cross in the early 1990s. Or like
Mark Oaten in 2006 who was trapped in the headlights of the News of the World.
Their tragedy is that secretly they must have wanted to be caught.”
I suspect there is something in the idea that “gay” and “straight” are social constructs, if the position is pushed that a person is either one or the other, the result will be they suppress any feelings one way in order to make themselves exclusively the other. These things are difficult to talk about, because questioning the social construct “gay” can be used to push conservative attitudes to sexuality. It would be interesting if Oaten had something serious to say on this, but I doubt it. Somehow what he’s saying all seems very formulaic, maybe the “months of counselling” is a clue – it seems to me to be a whole lot of counsellors clichés.
Oaten has always come across as an incredibly narcissistic person, saying whatever he thinks would make him look good or what is expected rather than what he really feels. Actually, he gives the impression that what he really feels is whatever makes him look good or is expected, there isn’t anything else underneath. There are too many such people in politics, I have complained many times about the whole system by which people are promoted and selected as MPs in our party being flawed because it tends to push forward that type. Oaten really has to serve as a warning to beware of them, and to spot the clues when they are before us in selections and the like.
But I guess the guy has to make a living, his story is interesting enough to make a few sales, and pushing the book right now will be the best way for him to make sure people hear about it. So, like Tony I wish he’d shut up, but I can understand why he won’t.
You would think that, if he cares about his successor, his constituents and his party, he’d shut up about this at least until the election. But there’s probably an element of pressure from his publisher to get the book out when it can make headlines, so I can understand why he’s doing it now – I just wish he wouldn’t.
If it had been a female prostitute, it wouldn’t have caused anything like the same degree of scandal, would it?
Who says we moderns have now got over all those old-fashioned hang-ups about gays and straights?
Totally agree with David Allen. As a gay man, I think there is still a huge amount of hidden homophobia in the way that gay men in politics are criticised and hounded for matters that would have been let drop for straight politicians. Just as I feel there is still a lot of thinly-masked misogyny towards female politicians. How much have we really moved on in these past few years? However, that is not to deny Oaten comes across as a self-obsessed opportunist….
I disagree – it wasn’t the gender but rather some of the practices (that can be “performed” by either gender) that caused “raised eyebrows”
Anyone who has had an ounce of experience of the publishing industry would realise that Oaten would have been largely powerless to the exact timing of the publication of his memoirs. It would have been a case of publishing them now or not at all.
I think that Oaten has suffered enough. Yes he screwed up, not only for his party but more importantly to his family. One with a rational mind would find it hard to justify what he did but we are all entitled to acts of irrationality within reason and it is really of no business for us to try to understand the reasons why. It seems unfair to continue to vilify him and we should instead let him get on with the rest of his life and hope that he enjoys it.
” it is really of no business for us to try to understand the reasons why.” well it is if he publishes a book about it and agrees to serialisation.
“Anyone who has had an ounce of experience of the publishing industry would realise that Oaten would have been largely powerless to the exact timing of the publication of his memoirs.”
That’s pretty much c**p. If he NOW has no control it’s because he agreed that publication would be at a time decided by the publishers (probably as you say common practice but not something he has to agree to).
If they weren’t written then publishing them would be damn near impossible.
As I said, it is a case of having them published now or not at all. The man is entitled to write his side of the story and if it by putting it into the public domain helps him feel better about his experience and eases the pain of his ordeal then it would be churlish to resent the man for wanting to do that. Considering that the majority of party, presumably out of embarasment rather than bigotry, were quick to condemn Oaten and believe Max Clifford style innuendo at the time of the scandal, it is hardly surprising that the fortunes of the party he is leaving behind are not foremost amongst his priorities at this present time.
It is no business for us to try to understand the reasons why he did what he did and by publishing his memoirs does not change that. I don’t think understanding is what Oaten is seeking, just the opportunity to put his side of the story across amongst the web of vitriol and hate that has been considered the truth up until now.
‘I don’t think understanding is what Oaten is seeking, just the opportunity to put his side of the story across amongst the web of vitriol and hate that has been considered the truth up until now’
So nothing to do with filling his pockets?
“It is no business for us to try to understand the reasons why he did what he did ”
If so, why on earth did he make a one hour documentary on national television on the subject (including getting on the psychiatrist’s couch on screen) and why did he write a book on the subject? What did he want us to do? Watch the documentary and read the book but sort of put masking tape over our mouths so as not to discuss the subject? How utterly ludicrous!
Liberal values… the selection process… bad publicity… ooh what a load of sheep!
In case any one hadn’t noticed, our candidates office is currently backlogged with applications, but, unlike the Tories, we didn’t have our leader in a live press conference saying how we’ve employed extra people to help cope with it (I also have a strong suspicion that the Tory “mass of applications from ordinary people” is nothing of the sort, given how I know they were chasing Tory councillors to apply with some urgency).
I’d also suspect that we do not have an MP secretly making comments on ths LDV thread.
Politicians of all political colours have exemplified the practice of “Screwing Up”. Mark Oaten threw himself into a position of huge responsibility – one in which treading on egg-shells can be the order of the day – and what he did as a result is somewhat unsurprising.
Crikey! He’s human, and he did what human beings do – he screwed up. It’s not like he lied to the nation and took the country to war.
The valid thing that happened in this thing is that he demonstrated that his judgement was not that of someone who I’d want to be prime minister.
As for now. He should be welcomed back with open arms. I’d much rather have an MP with mistakes behind him than one pretending to be infallible!
The man writes books on the episode, he goes on TV to discuss it – so what, it is still none of our business to understand why he did it no matter how much he shoves it in our faces. It is “understanding” what I am refering to and a lot of peoples problems with this episode come from the fact that the feel they have to try to understand why he stood for high office whilst having such a huge clunking skeleton in his cupboard. All I am saying is that we have no right to have to try to understand why he did what he did, and even less of a right to criticise whatever justification he does give. What he did is a fact and if he feels that he can cope better and try to settle the score by broacasting it to the nation in whatever medium he chooses then so be it and let him get on with it – we are supposed to be a liberal party afterall!!!
Oaten’s book is self-indulgent, self-serving, self-aggrandising drivel. Is there nothing to which this tiresome man won’t stoop to get his fix of public attention? Oaten is disgusting for three reasons: (1) he pushed his children in front of the cameras to advance his political career, (2) he has exhibited an enthusiastic willingness to talk about his private life in public, and (3) he has put his own pocket and ego fixation above the interests of his party (without which no-one would ever have heard of him in the first place). Mrs Oaten is little better, I’m sorry to say, and I think the two of them deserve each other. What comes next? “Mark Oaten – the Opera”? Oh, come on, he’s just got to set his life to music! Or what about the “Mark Oaten Theme Park”? First turning after Alton. Just the place to take the kids on a rainy Sunday. The man’s talent for making an ass of himself in public and in so doing damaging the party is unsurpassed. Truly unsurpassed.
I really am sorry for Martin Tod and his team who have worked so hard to rebuild the fortunes of the Winchester local party. How must they feel to see their efforts undermined by this self-centred, narcissistic freakshow of a man?
As for the media “therapist”, Mr Philip Hodson, I remember him on the box many years ago talking about couples living together (in the days when cohabitation outside marriage was quite rare). I cannot recall what he said to camera, but what I do recollect is Hodson and his ladyfriend cuddling naked in front of millions of viewers. The guy is a pseud of the highest order. Just like Oaten.
Maybe it’s a confusion over words, Mike. I find no problem with anything Mark has done. “Let he who is without sin…” But we do have a right to free speech in this country.
A “little bit strange”, Irfan? If I remember correctly, research suggests that there are at least as many bisexual people as gays or lesbians – we’re just less likely to be “out” due to pressures from both the gay and straight communities.
I think that those attacking Mark Oaten need to make sure that they’re doing so for the right reasons – the betrayal of trust to his wife (assuming there was one), the damage of the publishing date to the party, and so on. If we’re going to have a go at him over his sexuality, or over what consenting adults get up to in private, then we don’t deserve to be called liberals.
As an executive member of DELGA and supporter of CAAN, I’m interested in what we can learn from Mark’s case about compassion, tolerance and liberty.
“As an executive member of DELGA and supporter of CAAN, I’m interested in what we can learn from Mark’s case about compassion, tolerance and liberty.”
Well said.This is all water under the bridge as far as I am concerned. All I was exploring was what Philip Hodson said about how this sort of thing happens (see above) with middle-aged men. It is an interesting theory and one from which I think we can learn. Often we get ourselves into “square peg, round hole” situations and it is good to be reminded that we need to try to see pressures coming and have our escape routes already prepared, rather than letting the pressure cooker explode. So Mark’s honesty in public will help us to understand and avoid that scenario, I hope – in which case his laudable openess will have some benefit.
Publicise the book at the time of the Conference…get it on the shelves in the run up to the General Election…just what a publisher can be expected to do to sell copies, and get it serialised in the national newspapers.
He has no interest in his party and his wife even less, judging by her comments on TV at the time.
How does any of this help the Focus deliverer and the canvasser who have to now contribute to picking up the pieces?
Tony Greaves is dead right.
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[…] Some Liberal Democrats are aghast- but not necessarily surprised – that Mark Oaten is in the newspapers again. This time with a lengthy article in The Independent providing excerpts from his new book, the rather bluntly-titled Screwed Up! […]