The Iain Dale meme… Signs You Are About to Defect to the Tories…

Iain Dale, bless his cotton socks, has kindly brought The Voice’s attention to his blog posting yesterday, Top Ten Signs You Are About to Defect to the Lib Dems. Would LDV readers care to reciprocate in a suitably light-hearted manner, and come up with some Signs You Are About to Defect to the Tories?

Your suggestions below, please, ladies and gentleman…

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57 Comments

  • David Evans 8th Sep '08 - 1:40pm

    There’s only one.

    You have a sudden urge to improve your child’s education by sending him/her to Eton Porny First School.

  • Hywel Morgan 8th Sep '08 - 1:55pm

    3) You have just been selected as number 2 on the list of European Parliamentary Candiates for your region seems like an obvious one…..

  • A lawyer and a Lib Dem 8th Sep '08 - 3:06pm

    – You develop a hatred for any party that just won’t define itself by your simplistic left-right axis.
    – You get confused about what the words “opportunist” and “careerist” mean.
    – You think you’re In Touch.

  • Painfully Liberal 8th Sep '08 - 3:08pm

    You start giving credence to sub-David Icke fantasies about how the European Union is a monstrous conspiracy to enslave freeborn Englishmen.

  • – You describe every minor misfortune that occurs to you as ‘politcal correctness gone mad’

    – You think that there is a reason for Jeremy Clarkson

    – you think David Davis is really a civil liberty champion.

    – You can listen to Ann Widdicombe’s voice without your face exploding

    – You can listen to Ann Widdicombe’s ideas without your face exploding

    – you become a tinnnnyyyy bit racist.

  • Liam Pennington 8th Sep '08 - 3:36pm

    1) You have never been to a constituency association meeting where food was served as a buffet

  • Liam Pennington 8th Sep '08 - 7:26pm

    You’re not entirely sure why planning committee meetings have to busy themselves with extensions of fewer than four rooms.

  • Painfully Liberal 8th Sep '08 - 8:37pm

    You’re willing to entertain the notion that William Hague is the greatest Prime Minister we never had and that it was just unlucky timing that confounded him.

    (I conisidered saying Ian Duncan Smith but thought that would stretch the bounds of absurdity a little too far)

  • Cheltenham Robin 8th Sep '08 - 9:23pm

    You can see no wrong in paying parliamentary allowances to members of your family for doing diddly squat.

  • You think you have a God given right to rule.

    You describe as ‘political’ any view that is not in agreement with your position.

  • 10- You were bullied at school and people are going to pay!
    9- Politics is all about YOU rather than about people worse off than you
    8- You affect mannerisms that think make you look posh, but just make you look like a tool
    7- You don’t understand why some people got upset at your Spice Girls joke at the golf club dinner
    6- You can ‘overthink’ issues. Politics is meant to be FUN.
    5- You spend loads on a shiny Armani suit rather than a less ostentatious tailored suit
    4- William Rees Mogg is a man of deep learning rather than an old gas bag
    3- Your out of date BA Gold Card is still on your bag
    2- Your rugby playing days were the best days of your life
    1- You still harbour a little resentment to those Etonian types who think that they have a right to rule, but are actually the ones who sold Maggie out.

  • I certainly hope not! 🙂

  • You manufacture support for your point of view with imaginary friends.

    PS – That Vince Cable could show Nick Clegg a thing or two!

  • Campaign for a Real Shadow Cabinet 8th Sep '08 - 11:06pm

    Mysteriously, lots of people suddenly start thinking the same way you do on internet threads.

    You start to think someone might be reading your email and wonder about changing the password.

    And you think that the Lib Dems really missed an opportunity by not letting Vince Cable run the party permanently instead of just pro tem.

  • Painfully Liberal 8th Sep '08 - 11:15pm

    You’re convinced that the entire population can think of nothing but their disgust over the Lisbon treaty.

  • What a fantastically dull, pointless, humourless, dreary, unimaginative, witless bunch of suggestions. 10 signs you are a LibDem:

    1.

  • What a fantastically dull, pointless, humourless, dreary, unimaginative, witless bunch of suggestions. 10 signs you are a LibDem:

    1. Profoundly effete but resolutely heterosexual
    2. Gay and just a little too proud of it.
    3. Beard, obviously; sadly even on the ladies
    4. Sandals.
    5. All policies have an equal and opposite policy, providing the much needed all-things-to-all-people appeal.
    6. Desperation never to be elected to government lest you should be called upon to implement the policies of Cloud Cuckoo Land elucidated in 5. above.
    7. If you want to be leader you have a profound and suicidal flaw (drunkeness, closet homosexuality [see 1. above], geriatricity, cretinism).
    8. Simultaneously attempt to be to the left of Labour (especially on tax policy) and to the right of the Conservatives (especially on tax policy), convincing no-one.
    9. Fighting dirtier than a mud-wrestler.
    10. Losing every election since 1918.

  • The Undertaker is at the door !

  • A lawyer and a Lib Dem 9th Sep '08 - 9:51am

    Chas – what a nasty little man you are. Proving my point: “You develop a hatred for any party that just won’t define itself by your simplistic left-right axis.”

  • A lawyer and a Lib Dem: how on earth do you know I am either nasty or little? I have written something that you don’t like, and you call me a nasty little man. Where’s your evidence, o lawyer?

  • You find yourself increasingly bored with Nick Clegg’s constant David Cameron impression.

  • A lawyer and a Lib Dem 9th Sep '08 - 12:05pm

    Eh? Most of your 1-10 above suggest you’re fairly nasty. “Nasty little man”, however, is nought but a phrase.

    I quite pleased with what you’ve written though, as it supports my prejudices about Tories.

  • What concerns me about this is the numberr of people discussing what in charge of a meeting is. Now that’s what I call substance. Twits.

  • Easy, you stop thinking about anything other than yourself.

  • You lose the ability to laugh at yourself, obviously.

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